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It always ends the same

It really hurts when you allow yourself to believe in something or someone, or you allow yourself to be hopeful only to realize that you shouldn’t have let yourself dream like that. You shouldn’t have given that person the benefit of the doubt because things in your life always end the same. Even when you think positively, you always end up alone. Alone in your thoughts, your beliefs…with no one by your side.
And you feel guilty for letting yourself believe in something and someone supposedly good, because you knew better than that from the start. You knew that things would turn out this way.
You should have kept your expectations low like you always do. That way, you wouldn’t be disappointed.
And now you feel guilty for feeling guilty. Why cry over people who don’t care? Why cry over people who’ve moved on when you’re trying to move on from them, too? Why cry over people who never actually cared to begin with?
Why keep trying? Is there really anything better than this? How can I ever get out of this hellhole? It would be easier if I could be numb, but I just care too damn much. Why did God give me this cross to bear? It’s too heavy and I don’t want it.
I try to love people even if I don’t always take joy in the same things they do. But why does this have to hurt so much? Why can’t people want me for who I am? Why am I so rejectable? Why can’t people love me like I love them?
Oh, God, I didn’t want to cry about this but here I go, crying as I type this. It stings my eyes. I feel so alone and used and useless and unwanted.
I don’t know what else to say. I guess I just wanted someone out there in the world to know that I’m hurting. Because I don’t know what else to do and I have no one I can talk to about these feelings.

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I can relate I felt all this…

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because at the end if the day same shit you know it’s shitty I’ma miss my ex shordy but she deserves to live her life , we still breathing at the end of the day and lord has something’s special in-store for us.:blue_heart:

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I get you. It hurts. But if your heart can hurt, it still works.
I had friends in the past. They weren’t the greatest friends, but they were my first and only ones I had so I stuck by even when they treated me like shit. I followed them and did the things they liked to do even though I hated it and I felt like a fool. And one day, they replaced me in the group, tossed me out. It hurt so much and it makes me so mad I still cry over it even though it happened a long time ago. They used me, and then left me alone.
I guess all you can do, is keep trying to move forward, no matter what. You are better than those people who don’t give a damn about someone like you, a genuine person who’s a survivor.
At the end of the day, no one decides your worth. You do. You. You love yourself, and you take care of yourself. You’ll be okay. How do i know? You’re still here, your heart still works, and you are a survivor. :slight_smile:

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you right, stay blessed :blue_heart::blue_heart:

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I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling this.
I want to say that: You are not alone, I feel you.

I’m currently facing this where I tired to not feel guilty or sad about it.

For the first time…
I have a friendship ended, I never thought that they will end this way by removing me from Social Media without knowing…
I thought, it was my fault on decisions that I made from not talking to them for awhile,
I start to feel guilty from the amount of things that they said before and…Right now, I’m feeling sad.
There so many thoughts in my head, asking myself if I have done something wrong and much more…

I looked back the text conversations and starting to realized that it was an unhealthy relationship…
It hurts a lot from realizing it when giving your time and much more to them than, it leads to this…

I guess…A part of me being too kind and care too much that…I tired to stay longer in this relationship.
Even if, it was too much to handle emotionally.

I try not to think that this person is a bad person…because, all the wanted is someone out there to not feel alone but…There a lot of warnings that it was unhealthy…(It’s a bit complicated situation)

Now, I’m trying to moved on from this…I have mix feeling about it on thinking if they are only used me or anything else…it’s painful to thinking about it or looking back all those memories together like locations or remembering details like on what they like…

I’m very sorry that people take advantage of your kindness.
From what I see…You are a kind person that cares about people.

Sometimes, there’s people in our lives that stays forever that we can trust and be who you are…
Sometimes, we trusted the wrong people than, they leave our lives…and it’s not your fault.

It’s difficult to trust back people or make new friends of being scared that it happens again like being used and manipulated.
I have being there where I have being used/manipulated by people.

After this friendship ended, I…was scared to say:“Yes” from an acquaintance to hangout someday, I’m…afraid that it will lead to the same situation again. (I felt that it will lead to that…Since, I barely knew them)

Despite all the bad things in life…
I still believe that there are good people out there will love who you are and accept who you are as a person.
All I want to say is that…Be yourself, don’t be somebody else AND do something else for others.
Some day, you will find the right people or group that will love the way you are and they will understand you.

I hope that you will be able to find them and that things will get better.

Take care, sending lots of hugs
-Lost Wings

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@TheMouseThatRoared

It takes time to heal from the loss of friendship. I am dealing with it right now. We are in the same boat. You are not alone in this. This community is here with you and for you.

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