it hurts to even cry anymore. it feels like all of the air is being sucked out of me and i can’t breathe. i’m stuck in this constant state of self hatred and loathing. i’m so jealous of other people. everytime i come onto here i feel like i just have so much to say but i can never truly put it into words. my mind goes blank and my thoughts just disappear. i just deserve to suffer alone
sometimes people are taught to hate themselves by the people in their lives. I don’t know what going on with you, but that’s what happened to me.
I had to really look inward to find what I call ‘my true self’, actually it’s an journey that continues. What ever you ‘think’ you are, there is another side to you, it is the side that is posting and reaching out, continue to do so, because you are not alone. So many of us deal with varying degrees of self-hatred, so you are definitely not alone in this, but to find our way out, we need others to help show us who we truly are, people who will reflect back to you a positive image of yourself. Maybe here is a place to start for you, finding support with people who care.
What you think of who you are is not a true image, it’s a false image that you have accepted as being true. Something most of us have done. Be gentle with yourself, you deserve to be loved and cared for, give yourself the love you’d give someone else who is suffering. Peace
I’m so very sorry that you’re hurting so much these days. I hope you’re feeling a little better today, as you posted this a week ago.
You don’t deserve to suffer alone. No one does. You deserve to have people sitting next to you, willing to shoulder those burdens with you. It’s okay to cry, friend. Hating ourselves creates so many dark thoughts that drain the energy out of us. Learning to love ourselves, to be compassionate with ourselves, is a slow process and sometimes it seems really defeating, but you’ll get there, friend. And in the meantime, you’re not alone. We’re in this with you, whether you know how to put how you feel into words or not. Sometimes our feelings are so deep and intense that it’s just impossible to describe it. It’s okay.
Deep breaths, always. You’ll get through this. You’ll learn to see how much beauty there is in your heart.
Thinking of you today. Sending hugs your way.
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