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It won’t end unless I’m dead


#1

The last few weeks have been so difficult - my every move was controlled by this one guy. This one guy ruled me. Finally with the help of some amazing people I blocked and escaped him, and after that, along with a small celebration with everyone on my clean time I felt so good. I felt like I COULD really do this. I felt like there was nothing we couldn’t face as a community, but I think I was wrong.
My dad picked me up from work today, he did nothing but abuse me, but got overly angry with another driver and got out the car to threaten her at a stop light. I tried to ask him to leave it but I was just told “shut the fuck up or walk” “it’s nothing to do with you. I’m driving if you don’t ljke fuck off back to work” the constant “I’m sorry I don’t sit around doing nothing all day like all of you lazy lot” (he didn’t use that word I just don’t wanna repeat what he used). This is just 1 of the less severe examples of things that happen. He’s now refused to take me to work again so I have no way of getting there. It’s over. I need to work in order to be able to move out away from the daily abuse.
I’m never getting away from him, the abuse will never stop unless I’m dead. I’m so sorry. This was the final straw for me. I can’t carry on living with this.

Michaela


#2

Baby girl, you are incredibly strong and I literally look up to you so much for being able to get through this every single day. I really can relate to you, and I may not have the right words to say because i’m just so worried about your state and I know it freaking sucks to be in such a situation but we’re here okay? I’m here. I’m here! You’re going to pull through this and we’re going to keep on boosting you until you make it out of there okay? We want you here, it’s incredibly selfish to say this when I know how it feels like to suffer while being alive while death seems so comforting to end the pain. But please, please, stay with us. You Are Enough okay? You are so so incredible and you are always enough. Don’t be sorry for how you feel, your feelings matter and you matter a whole lot! I love you and there are people who wants you around, you know that deep down even if your mind is tricking you into wanting to end things. You are absolutely beautiful and you deserve every single good thing that’s out there!


#3

I’m sorry to hear it happened. Here’s hoping things will be ok at work tomorrow. Tomorrow should be a better day. Tomorrow that one guy won’t be there, he’s become one less problem now. There still are problems ahead, but now there’s one less of them. It was a solid step forward in problem solving.

Always rooting for you, Kayla. We will celebrate again.


#4

Brutal what our dad does. Trust me though. This is not the end. Between you and us, we’ll find another way. There isn’t just “one path”. And we will make sure you cross whatever path it is you need to take. You’ve got this. We’ve got you.


#5

I am sorry for your problem and that your abuser is a family member. IDK how to fix your job situation. Is there local public transportation that you could use to at least get closer to your job so you can walk to it?
If not, can you find a job closer to your house? You could find jobs that people may want or need like a baby/dog/house sitter or cleaner. I’ve a friend that was a cleaner that said he would make tons of money as a cleaner and he even got to refuse doing individual houses/ certain businesses as well cause he did so well. Hopefully you can find a way to keep your job without depending on your Dad.