It's All A Ruse!

Okay so I have been feeling so inadequate in my life. And I decided to write about it on here because I know other people feel this way too. I just want to get these feelings out.

I feel like I’m a fake. I feel like all of the accomplishments or achievements I have in my life are lies. One day everyone is going to find out that I suck and everything will be taken away. For example I am only a few months away from graduating from college and a part of me feels like I don’t deserve my degree. Were these classes really hard or am I just stupid? I’ve been fooling people this whole time and right before I graduate they are going to rip my diploma away from me. Maybe I don’t deserve to graduate. Also I am a writing tutor and I still feel like I’m not good at writing. Like every time I have a student I think “Oh I’m going to tell them something wrong and they are going to fail!” I’m just a tutor because no one wanted to sign up. I’m not actually good at writing.

I love to sing and write music too. But I actually can’t sing. Everone just doesnt want to hurt my feelings. I actually suck. And my songs are basic and dim. I have no talent and everyone is just lying to me. And so many other parts of my life too. My job? No one else wanted it and they were desperate. My friends? They just feel bad for me. All of these thoughts makes me want to give up trying. Like why should I try? I’d rather give up than embarrass myself.

And right now a part of my mind is telling me “Girl shut up you are fine.” And the other part is “No you’re right. You just keep embarrassing yourself.” So a part of me knows these are all lies. But it’s hard to remember that when it’s what keeps you up at night. If you’ve ever felt this way let me know.

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It’s called imposter syndrome and it’s extremely common in those that suffer with anxiety and depression. You are under a lot of stress right now so it’s just important for you to take it day by day. You wouldn’t have made it this far if you weren’t capable. You got this.

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My dearest friend Cassie,

You are not alone in these thoughts- I have been there many times before- with my art or my music, anything I do.

It’s hard, I understand.

Friend would never lie to you ok? You are amazing at what you do and I am so proud of you. We all can improve- looking back at my old art I can see how much I have improved and I think that is a big thing for you to also look into.

I remember watching your community spotlight and you sang your song and I loved it then but seeing where you at enot I can see a lot of improvement and I am so so proud of you.

You have so much potential. So much light. Keep following those dreams.

College is hard. Man it’s hard. But you deserve this degree- all the time and work you’ve put in heck yes you deserve this degree. A lot of people don’t take initiative to follow through with college but you did and you DESERVE this degree ok?

I love you Cassie. So so much. I am so blessed to call you a friend.

Hold fast.

Love you.

With love,
Lyss (ur pal Blurryface)

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Feeling inadequate is agonizing. I go through imposter syndrome as well. Severe social anxiety is my main problem caused by it. I feel like I’ll always get rejected when meeting new people because I’m not good enough. I’m attending a reputable business college but I struggle with thoughts of “How am I going to stand out from everyone else” and “I’m so useless even graduating from this school won’t get me a job.”

It might seem difficult but keep reminding yourself of your accomplishments. You have achieved as much as you have for a reason. If you were stupid then you wouldn’t have succeeded in your classes so far, or even have been accepted in the first place.

The music you write comes from your heart and soul and that alone makes it good enough. I’ve written lyrics for many years myself, and I criticize myself for a lot of them being about my negative experiences and mental illnesses. “Stop whining” is a common thought I have.

Even though you feel helpless you are valuable and you DO deserve what you have. I know personally how difficult it is to combat those thoughts.

Keep your head up,
Jon

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Thank you all for your kind responses. It makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’m going to continue to try to combat those thoughts. I have been having some severe anxiety recently and these thoughts seem worse when my anxiety is worse. Currently working on that too. But thank you friends. I appreciate you all.

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Hi Cassie,

I have felt those thoughts too… It makes question you about if all you do is real or if this is fine, I know, it makes you feel insecure, it’s hard! But you know all those thoughts are lies, keep trusting in you, I really don’t know you but I know you can fight against that!

Much love for you,

your friend Kalle.

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@IAmCassie

You are not stupid. You are a smart, bright woman. You are talented. Your guitar skills are good, and your singing is amazing. It makes sense why you said those things. I smile when I watch your YouTube videos. Heh. I am battling with my own thoughts too. We believe in the lies way more than the truth. The truth is that you are loved. God loves you. I’m sorry you are dealing with anxiety. I couldn’t imagine of what you are going through. If you want to cry, cry! Let it all your emotions out, and do your best to keep moving forward. I’m happy to call you my friend. You are such a sweetheart! Hehe. Always remember, this community loves you. I love you too. If you need someone to talk to, message me on Discord. I am here for you. Thank you for reading this. I hope you are having a great Fall. Hugs. :hugs:

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Your lyrics and music is YOUR TRUTH, however competent a musician you are or not, or however good your singing voice is or not (and you also seem to generally think negatively of yourself and your talents a lot of the time.) Some of the most famous and successful musicians and singers aren’t actually that great, but their passion and heart pushed them on to greater things. But success isn’t that important really. Sure it helps, but getting things out of your system is far more important, even if only your dog or cat listens to you and whines in misery!

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There are times when there is hope and others when I play too poorly I don’t think ill ever be able to play in a band and times just seem to be achieving greatness without me. My vocals are awful but my music is pristine. I write for lyrics and I focus on the aspects of my life dictating my authority for when I assemble a good song. I write for the hurt please understand we are not here to blast our minds out with pleasure but to be aware the good is pleasurable that can make the bad worse than what it is and this I have personal experience with. I am an artist that doesnt know how to make the big leap up to the big shots and holding a trophy would make me feel a little better if only my music were to have one feel encouraged to succeed in a way that is helpful to their own self and I know I am willing to share.

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