I feel like this year has beat me up so hard I can’t get back up. I don’t even know where to begin, I lost a good friend to an unexpected heart attack and my aunt to cancer. I graduated college in may and have had no luck finding a job to the point where it’s been stressing me out hard. My brother suffers from anxiety and his panic attacks have increased in the recent months which has had me worried for him and his health. And about week ago my only girlfriend who I had been with for 4 year and I decided to break up. To make things even worse it hasn’t even been a full week and she is already seeing someone else. I used to be a really positive person and constantly believed that everything was happening for a reason, and that it was all happening the way that it should but as this year has gone on and one thing after another has hit me I’m starting to believe is less and less. I’ve tried to talk to friends about it but they all think I’m just overreacting. I feel alone and helpless and I’m starting to believe things will never turn around. I don’t know what to do.
Friend, you are not helpless.
We all go through suffering at one point or another in our lives. things will work out.
Personally, when i feel the world is crashing down on me, i turn to God. I give Him whats going on internally and externally, and with time, He brings beauty out of the suffering. He really does.
It’s hard to focus on the positive in situations like this, but i say to keep trying! Write down something or things positive that happened in your day. When doing this, one finds hope i feel.
Just breathe, everything will be ok.
I’m praying for you.
Condolences. What helps me when I think about those that moved on is the good memories we shared.
Are you willing to relocate? I find most people go to school to find whatever they think they want to do, but a lot of times what they want to do isn’t applicable to where they live. A lot of them think they can relocate then they get homesick and want to where their family is. My only suggestion (for now) is to find a way to apply your skills to what your location is looking for otherwise you might have to move or go back to college again.
Yeah, stuff like this gets to me about my family.
I don’t mean to be a bearer of bad news but if she is with someone within a week then the odds are she was seeing them before while still with you. I’m not trying to give you more stress, but want to point out that she most likely already has moved on. So the only helpful move that you can do for your well being is to move on as well. (Breakups suck either way.)
Best way to keep positive is to not worry. The best tool is business/Distraction until things start rolling your way. Take a breath when things start becoming overwhelming. Do something you like doing. Accept your feelings and address them. I suggest finding a therapist. They’re great for talks and genuinely are there to focus on you and your well being.
Move on. Whatever you do don’t give up. We’re cheering for you. Outline some goals and make steps (mini-goals) that will lead to you achieving the goals you have set.
I know this is a bleak reaction, but from what you described I don’t think next year can really get any worse. So there is an easier road ahead. Just keep moving on, move through this misery to better times. This was a shit year, so start planning head.
Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy
Hey friend, thanks for reaching out.
Let me start by saying you’re not alone in this. You are not helpless. I’ve been in a similar situation in the past and there is definitely a way out. You just have to wait. It’s hard, but try to enjoy life even if your friend/girlfriend are not there anymore. Focus on yourself and do the things you love doing, even alone.
I hope a job will come your way soon. Working helps focusing on the good things and helps reducing stress, at least for me.
Wishing you the best, keep us updated.
We all fall down sometimes, and that doesn’t mean you have instantly constantly focus on getting back up. You are human and we all fall down. Maybe it’s because you used to be a really positive person that everyone thinks you are overreacting. Their problem, and they don’t need to understand.
I know it doesn’t change anything, but I’m so sorry about your friend and your aunt. Pain is beautiful when we think about the ones we loved and the good times.
As for your brother, ask him to write here on HeartSupport about his anxiety. He could get advice and other support.
Know that we are here for you and we will always listen. Hold fast
“God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.”
Reincarnate - Motionless In White. Please don’t give up hope
That is beautiful. I am going to steal that phrase. JOINK!