So my husband takes his elderly father out on Mondays to do his grocery shopping. Got a call from him (my husband) soon after he left that saying he found his father dead in his apartment. I thought he was kidding at first but of course he wasn’t. Ended up staying with him outside his dad’s place until the medical examiner showed up to collect the body.
Took my panic attack maintenance meds so that when I went to my weekly prenatal appointment they wouldn’t see my blood pressure and think I was having a heart attack. Ate something at noon and haven’t eaten since. Baby was asleep during my NST so I was sent to Pregnancy triage at a larger hospital to be monitored more closely and to get an ultrasound to make sure the baby is ok. She is.
I just now got home, 4 hours after I’m usually in bed. I guess its a good thing I already talked to my manager about bereavement because I’m gonna feel like hell tomorrow. Currently drinking a protein shake since I can’t eat due to my ulcers.
That is so sad! It sounds like you are making good choices in relation to your pregnancy. The protein shakes are very good idea. I’ve done the same thing during difficult times. How is your husband doing? I hope you guys have some supportive family or friends around. You can also keep talking to us.
Oh @Sapphire, this is so much happening. I’m so very sorry. For the loss of your father in law, and for the stress due to the time spent at the hospital. I can’t even imagine how long this day must have been for you and I hope your husband and you will get some needed rest.
Words are nothing compared to what you are both experiencing, but, this community is and will be here for you. Love you friend.
It’s hard to say, really. He was understandably pretty upset when I arrived at his dad’s apartment when he was still waiting for police and EMTs to arrive. He tried to stay pretty busy throughout the day - we ended up also going to a funeral home to make plans before my doctor appointment and he was holding it together.
I feel like his Aspergers was helping him some because he compartmentalized what was happening and seemed to come to terms with it, at least on a surface level pretty quickly, but I think he is on some level traumatized after walking in to find the body. We had in the back of our minds been expecting something like this to happen but nothing ever really prepares someone for something like that. We don’t have a cause/time of death yet but we think he was dead for at least a couple of days before my husband found him.
It’s good that you have each other. You seem to be in tune with what he needs in order to process his feelings. Sometimes the emotions come flooding in days after the event. I do somewhat the same thing in an emergency or other intense situation. I usually “turn off” my emotions until it feels safe to release them. I think sometimes the delay ends up making them even more intense.
My husband seemed to be doing well yesterday, all things considered. Not really sure if those feelings will come back around but either way I think it will be ok.
Thanks. I think it definitely helps that we’ve been together for 9 years. Granted I know there are longer relationships out there but there has been a lot of learning for both of us when it comes to our own specific ways of processing, with his Aspergers and my anxiety.
