I been suffering from depression and anxiety for a while now (about 4-5 years I think). about 5 months ago I hit my low and started self-harming on my forearm. I started taking anti-anxiety drugs and antidepressants again 1 month ago. And I stopped self-harming.
Now I feel real stupid for doing that and in a such hard to hide place. And now I have these horrible scars. So far I tried my best to hide these scars using hoodies. It was really easy on the winter, but I live on the south-hemisphere so itâs getting warm again. And I donât know if I have the courage to show my scars, mainly because no one knows yet. And I donât know what to say if people were to saw them. Mainly my friends and family.
My question is: Should I just wear long sleeves and sweat like a pig in the summer or have the courage to show my self-harm scars?
A lot of people donât understand self harm and can talk trash about it. But donât let that bother you. They donât need to understand. You went through a tough time and made it out alive. Those scars can be a reminder that you made it out alive, not a way to be ashamed. Weâre human. And we all fall down. Thatâs okay. Be true to yourself, do what you want and what makes you happy. Donât live for other people and what they want. You donât need other people who can point and ask questions and not understand. Live your own life, they can waste their lives on whatever they want. Now please, Iâm not telling you that youâre on your own. Talk to your family and friends, communication is key in a relationship. Be honest, and if they donât understand, thatâs okay. Youâre still not alone. I know what youâre feeling and I know itâs really hard to let these scars be visible, but the main thing is: donât be ashamed. Be proud. Wear the scars as a reminder that youâre strong, and you survived. Itâs not stupid that you self harmed. Its not. Taking your pain out is not stupid.
You keep your head up high, okay? Youâre not alone. You can do this. <3
âFind something that is a healthy and happy alternative to hurting yourself as opposed to taking a razorblade to yourself, because at the end of the day, youâre only hurting the most important person in the world; and thatâs you.â - Andy Biersack
When it gets too much, maybe wear a physical reminder of not being ashamed, like a piece of jewelry or draw on your arms. Post on here whenever you want. 
First of all thanks for your kind words. It really means a lot.
Do you have any tips of what to say if a stranger or even a friend look at my arm and ask what they are? This is my biggest fear. And Iâm not sure if I would be able to be honest.
Take it one step at a time. First, wear short sleeves and hold your head high. And if someone asks you what they are, tell the truth only if youâre comfortable enough. Or taking a risk. Just donât overwhelm yourself. A stranger asking, if you donât think you can manage to be honest thatâs okay. You donât owe it to those strangers the truth. You could just say something like, âI prefer not to sayâ. If you trust a friend who asks, tell them the truth. Try to tell the truth, but if itâs too much thatâs okay.
Hi.
I used to struggle with this. When I was a teen and a young adult, I cut on my arms a lot. I have slit and cut marks all up my arm from wrist to elbow. And more on my shoulders. I have several cuts on my arms that are similar to the shape of an X all over. And I used to be so ashamed of them. Embarrassed. Itâs impossible to hide them.
Like you, I live in the south where it is hot. So I canât wear long sleeves and hoodies. I just wear normal clothing. Short sleeves and all. Our scars are a part of us now. But they do not define us.
As obvious and bold as my scars are, through out my life only a few people have ever questioned them. And only ONE person has ever hurt my feelings. Iâm 34 now.
I used to work with kids where theyâd question the scars. Theyâd asked what happened. And the easiest way to get a kid off your back when they ask is to answer very simply and not make a big deal of it. Something like âOh! You know, I was just being silly and got hurt! But Iâm okay now!â You never have to explain. And if they continue to ask, you can say âYou know, it was so long ago, I donât even remember! I must be getting old!â Even if itâs not the full truth, kids are pretty easy.
As for adults and older kids. Honestly, all you have to say is that it happened in a time of your life that is behind you and you rather not talk about it. (: Again, you donât owe anyone an explanation. Very simple basic answers are plenty. âI was having a hard time then. Itâs behind me. I rather focus on the nowâ or âIf you donât mind, I rather not talk about it.â
All good examples of how you can handle if someone brings it up.
Its been so many years I hardly even notice them now. (: I mean they are obviously there. But they are just a part of me. They donât define me and they donât define you. Just something we have to learn to live with.
Donât hide. Donât make yourself suffer in uncomfortable clothes. I know itâs hard at first. But just be yourself and try to learn to live with them and not make a big deal out of them. Honestly, people really wonât usually even say anything.
But I understand. I struggled a lot with them when I was younger. It took a while.
Much love to you
- Kitty
Scars are not a determination of value. We were not meant to live in shame and guilt. We all have a story and its nobodies place to judge what that looks like. Value comes from the human spirit. Your story , your life and your personality are valuable to us. You are not alone and every part of your story is important to us. Some people might not understand, but we do and you always have a place to belong here.
I wanna say that Iâm very happy that youâre improving and feeling better, it can be hard to get to that point and you should be extremely proud of yourself 
Itâs amazing.
I wouldnât be afraid to show your scars - it shows your progress, your journey, and that youâre healing, and thatâs something to be incredibly proud of. If someone talks down to you or looks down on you for having those scars, they either donât deserve to know you fully or may not understand what itâs like to go through something as difficult as self harm thoughts or actions. If you are up to it, Iâd say talk to them and maybe help them understand better to whatever level youâre comfortable with, or ignore them because you deserve to be proud of yourself regardless of what other people say - you are strong, powerful and deserve love from others and from yourself
First, thank you for sharing. I understand your shame and I do not think lesser about you cause of it. I personally have 2 suicide attempt scars. Iâm lucky to be able to be able to hide mine. A shirt and pants and I can hide that âshameâ But I know they are there. Itâs a weight. I personally want to cover at least one, from my first attempt. I havenât told anyone but my fiancee what the scar is. my family doesnât know. Some people feel relief in hiding their scars with tattoos.
I would suggest sitting down, alone, with your scars. See what you feel about them where your heart lies. Coving them may be a mentally healthier space for you right now these scars are still fresh both literally and in your mind. See what you feel comfortable with doing. being able to admit you were at a low only helps you grow. If you feel like you have to cover them still you can use other things, bandages, arm wraps so you donât have to sweat like crazy. Thank you for posting friend
I never being in your situation butâŚA part of me understands you and can imagine if I was in your situation.
I want say thatâŚ
Youâre very brave to talk about it, iâm glad to hear that things got better too. Iâm so proud of you Give a hug
In my teenage years, I have seen people close to me harm themselves, I felt hopeless, unable to help them andâŚNow, they are doing okay.
It depends everyoneâs response to itâŚ
Despite, iâm aware that they have scars. I do not see them as bad thing. Since, everyone have their struggles when in this darkest mindset.
You may like looking back in your scars where you feel ashamed and thinking about it.
I donât have scars that are viable on my body butâŚI have faced things where it still affects me to this day.
I understand that you want to hide it because, family and friends orâŚpeople do not know about it where they will be asking question or be more concern but,
if I was in your situation, I would sayâŚDespite, these scars, it is your choice on how to response on peopleâs reaction.
Some will be concern, scared or questioning butâŚFocus on the positive.
I see scars as it tells your journey, how long you stay strong and keep fighting.
It will be difficult when people response to itâŚ
In my journey, I choose to be honest to talk about it because, I feel much more better to talk it out than, keep it inside.
As along, you are comfortable with itâŚ
Iâm sorry that I donât know what to sayâŚ
You are not alone feeling this, keep fighting
Take care, send lots of hugs
-LostWings
This post hits me hard. My dad keeps making comments about how much of a mess my self harming made on my arms⌠Over the past few days I keep looking at them with so much regret. To the point that I actually start to have suicidal thoughts because I know theyâre never going to go away⌠It feels silly though because, you look at them and you hate them - but then you want to cut more to make those feelings go away and itâs vicious cycle.
I remember when I said I was flying out for the HS Gala⌠HS is full of people that helped me to feel safe for the first time, that I know wonât judge me ever⌠However, I sat for weeks talking to the community about whether to wear long sleeves or short sleeves because I was so terrified of having them out for people to see⌠Even though I was going to be in probably the safest place Iâve ever been in. I ended up going in short sleeves and not a single person judged me.
Speaking from experience, I have had more people confront me about wearing long sleeves in hot weather than I have when I keep them uncovered. Yes, you might get some people come up and ask you about your scars, but you donât have to go into detail. Just say you hurt yourself - people tend not to go any further. However, most people now donât really mind the scars - they either donât care about them because it doesnât define you, or they are just too scared to ask about them.
I would say it might be an idea to try going to a public place, that isnât overly busy, but still a good number of people and see how you feel. Do it with someone safe if you have someone. If you get uncomfortable, you can leave. Youâre going to be okay. <3
Hold Fast
Kayla
I guess it depends on your comfort level. If youâre ready to talk about it when people ask, I think thatâs a good opportunity to connect with those that are willing to listen.
Hey! Hereâs a live video response from our live Twitch stream!
https://heartsupport-merch.myshopify.com/cart/11954043519012:1?discount=FREESHIP < this is a link to a frer self harm resource!
Hey Fannakz,
First I want to say welcome to Heart Support. I am so glad that you are here, and that you had the courage to open up about what you are going through. I want you to know that you are loved, that your life matters, and that your story matters. Your past doesnât define you, and neither do your scars. We love you, and we want you here! We will be here to walk along side you and help in anyway possible! Please donât ever give up my friend!
As far as being ashamed of your scars, I want you to know that your scars donât define you, you are not your scars. You are you, and you are loved, and you are more than your scars! I want you to remember these words. Your scars donât define you, you are you, you are beautiful, and you are loved. Something I struggle with daily, is looking at my scars and feeling worthless. But I see past your scars, as will this community.
Congrats on being one month clean from self harm! That is such an accomplishment, and you should be proud of yourself for that! As far as being ashamed of your scars, donât (and believe me I get that this isnât easy). As far as being unsure of going out and showing them, donât be ashamed. Maybe it can spark a conversation, a good one, it can provide healing and support.
Just know that we love you, we are here for you, and we believe in you! You are so loved, and you really matter so so much! I want to be here for you in anyway possible, and continue to walk alongside you through your journey, keep reaching out and donât ever give up!
Hold Fast, Youâre Worth It!
Love Always,
Monkey
Be yourself. Even if there are times you arenât necessarily proud of, itâs who you are. And because they are scars, it means they are in the past. To me, itâs a sign of courage and bravery. You should totally do what you feel comfortable doing, but you should be proud of who you are and what youâve been through. Showing that is never something to be ashamed of.
You have a scar on your arm. Itâs beginning to affect you in meaningful ways. You donât like that you put it there. That is good. From now on you will have a scar out in the open and you will see it too, and every time you see it you will feel regret and think ânever againâ and you will see it a lot and that is why itâs good. This might be the last self harm you ever do.
Shame. What are you (and everyone else who self-harms) ashamed of? The self harm? Or that you harming yourself means that you are weak and that the scar is giant sign pointing to you and telling others how weak you are? You know what to do next? Donât hide it. If your friends ask, tell them the short, fast, simple truth. You donât need to go into detail. Tell the people who matter. The people who donât know you probably wonât notice or care. If they ask, give a short simple honest answer. WHY? Because if you do this, you take away the hold shame has on you and then you throw that shame away. It canât touch you if you arenât afraid of itâs threats. And then you can move on from this clean, and that feels wonderful. It wonât come back to haunt you unless your mental illness regains some control , and then you will know what to do.
You can also hide under long sleeves. You might have to when you get a job. Hiding seems a whole lot easier but it hurts more, in the end. Hiding makes it your dirty little secret that you donât want anyone to know. That turns into more shame because how could anyone understand you with your secret? (See above paragraph. It works even if you wait, but it becomes more emotionally difficult to do.)