Hey guys. I haven’t been here since June and the year is almost over. A lot has happened since then but I’ll sum it up the best I can. Right now, I’m hurting, I feel like absolute crap. So before I get to the bad here’s some good. School is getting better and I’m almost finished! I’ve made it into a varsity choir and I made a ton of new friends! I’ve learned how to let a lot go and I’ve finally gotten on the right meds. Yayy! But everything around me is falling apart in my eyes. My boyfriend left me. My dad lost both legs from not taking care of himself and diabetes. He also had another stroke. My mom is sick again (which she has sickle cell, which is a blood disease). My big sister had to move back in due a bad breakup (which means I share a bed with two other people now). My chest has been hurting (which I’m scared about). And I’m slowly starting back to self harm after being clean for months. I’m okay but yet I’m not okay. I’m sorry I’m ranting but I have to let this out somewhere. I feel like crap now because everything is setting in. The pain, lost and sorrow from everything piling up and I just now let everything process. I’m scared of losing both my parents now. I might be on the right meds but the thoughts in my head are heavy which lead to the self harm again and sigh. It all hurts. Any positive is appreciated right now. But thanks for reading this, you’re the best. <3
Good to see you back!
Congrats on finishing school and getting into choir! That’s pretty cool!
I’m sorry to hear about your dad, though. That’s pretty rough. As is having to share a bed with two other people. I imagine it feels pretty crowded sometimes.
It’s good you are taking meds and seemingly they are helping at least a little if you say they may be the right ones. That’s a positive. Just keep talking to your doctor about what’s going on and how your feeling so they can adjust it accordingly.
I can’t resolve everything going on, but I care for you and truly hope that peace finds its way to you. In whatever form that may be. Choir seems like a great outlet! You are always welcome here, no matter how long you are gone before sharing.
Much love to you friend
Coming back to talk about all of this s a great start. You are so strong. While the world may seem like it is falling apart around you, try to enjoy the good moments with your family. When you want to self harm, try to release you stress and anger in a different way. You could write or draw. You also could run or maybe sing if you are in choir. Look for a different way to let out how you are feeling. There is no reason to apologize for talking about how you are feeling. You should also try to talk to your sister or friends about how you are feeling.
Stay strong, you’ve got this.