When I read the title of what I just wrote, I feel in a shock. I’m 27 and I can’t believe it’s been almost 10 years since college began. It was the last time I had a serious social life that was fun and adventurous. I haven’t let myself have some wild fun in a long time. I was in and out of a toxic relationship for almost five years, taking care of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and working as a dancer in clubs. It was a really dark period…almost like I was asleep for a few of those years…I lost some friends, made bad decisions. I don’t have a lot of good memories. Now I’m getting my career together but I don’t have a lot of friends. When you come out of a darker period, it’s like waking up from a slumber…you become more aware of how much time has passed, you start to think about people who used to be in your life, you’re more aware of your parents aging and how they won’t be here forever. What happened within these past few years? It’s almost a blur. I want that happiness and making memories again. I want to have stupid fun with friends that I trust. I want the rest of my youth to be free before I settle.
But I do miss the simpler times. I miss being the trendy young adults who felt the thrill of stepping out into the world. I miss the feeling of thinking I was so cool for staying out late with friends. I miss the feeling of thinking I was walking on the edge for attending a house party. The smallest things felt so big at that age.
I stayed off social media for a long time. I finally got a facebook again and indeed see those I knew that are now married and even have children. I feel weird. I feel a hole in my heart that aches for those times…
I can’t change the past and I’m learning not to regret my decisions. The dark period made me stronger and while I spent a lot of years on trying to make a bad relationship work…I have to say I loved hard and gave it my all.
I’m scared of wasting more time in this life. I know I need to start making memories so I don’t keep looking back. I’m just stuck in the past.
It doesn’t sound like you’ve wasted any time at all. All experience helps us to grow in wisdom if we let it. It’s okay to spend time looking back, as long as it helps you to understand yourself. We can’t go back to being children again, but you can take a temporary break from “adulting.”
Pay the bills, do the laundry, but also kick up your heels once in a while.
You are wise to be thinking about how you’re spending your time. A lot of people simply run on life’s treadmill with little thought for what they may do to enrich their lives.
I hope your heart feels better. The best way to avoid wasting time is to become very mindful of the present moment and what you can do with it.
I think we all miss the good times when we’re moving towards adulthood. Have you looked into seeing about some gentle locations full of people first? Coffee shops, libraries, arcades? Things with people that you could just fill yourself around with people you don’t even have to interact with, just to get yourself used to people? I do think that you can still have fun! But since you’re older and wiser, you know when to take caution and step back.
I think possibly these spaces and trying to find a few friends with good heads on their shoulders that won’t give you the possibility of putting yourself in harms way, then I think that would work for you tremendously.
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through all these hard times, hun. We’re here whenever you wish for us to lend a shoulder out for you. We all believe in you. 
From: Mamadien
Rosethorn, it’s good to hear from you again. How wonderful that you stuck through and are at the point of starting your career. As I read your post, I can see how far you have travelled in life, how much you have overcome. You have come through the other side of that darker period in life. As someone who now has all of those years behind me - let me share that all that you have been through has molded you into the very strong capable person that you are. Please don’t regret lost time but look for ways to use those years to find your purpose as you move forward. Love your parents, find newer ways to have fun, feel young from time to time. You are strong. You can use what you have learned to chart your future your way. And with that you will make memories that you will enjoy looking back on later. You are capable.
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi Rosethorn, Thank you for posting your thoughts. I often look back at my life like you have and want the good things again. I also look forward to the things I have yet to experience. The things I can do as an adult that are memory making and the people that will come into my life. You will experience so many more things in your life and probably a lot of it will be awesome. We can’t change our past, but we can try to steer our lives in the direction we want, by learning from the good and bad. You matter! ~Mystrose
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, its great to hear from you, So much went through my head after reading your post, I really wasnt sure what to say to you. It sounds like over the last 27 years you have been on a rollercoaster of emotions and trials of life, some that are perfectly normal, some that were laid out just for you and as hard as they were and whether you made good decisons or bad ones (we all do this its about learning) you have made it through. I understand that its not always been easy, I too have years I either want to forget or cannot recall due to medications but this is what makes you, Im not saying its all fair but it builds the person you are. I love how you talk about wanting to go back and do some of the old things and have fun - You are only 27, get out there and do it! go have some fun, your 30s should be your amazing years, you dont have to put your slippers on and sit in front of the tv now you are over 25, go live your life, you deserve to enjoy yourself and make up for the times you didnt. I hope that one day I read a post about some really good fun you have had. Much Love Lisa. x
Hi Rosethorn,
thank you a lot for sharing your thoughts.
the thing with time moving on is so difficult for us to process. we all start and end the same. what we did in our
lives has brought us here. us all. i regret so many things in my last years. memories are there to remember things.
what is not bad at all. our life is constant learning way. you are 27, you have come so far to get here.
we all had people who came and go, we all made bad decisions. we all lost people, we all did bullshit and we all
are regretting something. maybe what we have done, or what we had done. but does it matter now ?
i would say no. i would not be, who i am right now without all of that. i would not read your text now, when you
did otherwise or i did. we can’t change that. what i can change is, what i write to you. what you can change,
is what you will make out of it. you shared a part of your life with us. we share our experiences. because we
can relate to your situation. time is only wasted, when we did not learn from it. time will move on and time will
ever give a shit about us. time does not care about our feelings. but we care. i care about you.
you gave time to write these, i give time to respond, we all do right now. i will not regret it, when you take your
next step. that is what matters now. YOU.
there is an ocean out there, for you to explore. filled with emotions and joy, happiness and full of love and kindness.
the smallest step will matter the most when you want it. there is no need to know where all of this is going,
what you need to know, what you need to see is where you will go right now. spread some kindness and love and
you will receive it. there is so much in front of you. so many beautiful things that this life offers for you, if you want it.
if we want things to be beautiful, we have to make them beautiful. it is always easier said then done. i know that.
but somewhere we have to start for ourselves. at start, at the end, we spend the most time with ourselves.
take care of yourself. you deserve that. you are loved and you matter. feel hugged 
come back here
anytime you need someone.