Its complicated

I want to say that im better not expressing hurt. I feel when i talk about it, everything starts to bug me and i shut down or spiral especially when i can’t really explain the problem without being completely misunderstood or embarrassed about the thing that upsets me.

I don’t want to be left behind by the world but i can’t control myself. I mess up my friendships and i make people worry when they shouldn’t. People say im good person but i don’t see it at all. I hurt people and i am petty. I don’t want to be useless but im so unstable. I probably make no sense, i don’t know

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@Amaris

I want to say that im better not expressing hurt. I feel when i talk about it, everything starts to bug me and i shut down or spiral especially when i can’t really explain the problem without being completely misunderstood or embarrassed about the thing that upsets me.

Hey friend, thanks for sharing. It’s not an easy thing to do, you’re right. When we’re openly vulnerable, we can have a lot of just… protective mechanisms as those you described. Know that there’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed. You’re in a community here where we’re all willing to listen and support you, without any judgment. It is indeed frustrating to be misunderstood when you’ve been brave enough to share what’s in your chest. I’ve been there… this circle when you can’t find the right words so communicating with someone else seems impossible… Know that what you just shared makes sense and it’s totally understandable, also relatable at some points. You’re not alone. :heart:

Let’s take just a few seconds to acknowledge the fact that you find enough strengths in yourself to share about how you feel.

Thank you. :heart:

I don’t want to be left behind by the world but i can’t control myself. I mess up my friendships and i make people worry when they shouldn’t. People say im good person but i don’t see it at all. I hurt people and i am petty. I don’t want to be useless but im so unstable. I probably make no sense, i don’t know

We all make mistakes, friend. We all do or say things we don’t mean sometimes. And it happens more easily if we’re struggling. When I was really struggling with depression, sometimes I was really mean to my partner… and I felt like being the most horrible person on Earth. But he was also very comprehensive with me and how I felt. We had to discuss a lot about this, but in the end we knew there was just tons of love between us, sometimes hidden under different layers of circumstances.

You said people told you that you’re a good person, but you don’t feel the same. I know it’s difficult to feel like this, this difference between how you feel and how you’re perceived. Though you can certainly trust others when they tell you this! Sometimes we’re just very strict with ourselves and we expect to be different because we feel bad about ourselves, for different reasons. Are there objective reasons that make you think that you’re unstable?

Know that, in any case, you’re not useless. You have worth and value. And that goes beyond any circumstance in your life or how you feel about yourself. You matter, friend. :heart:

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Hi friend, I can relate to this on a deep level. Something I have always struggled with is, expressing how I feel. I often am miss understood and it has caused great stress and hurt in my heart. It’s hard when you have things that are on your mind but struggle to share it so people can understand. It’s frustrating when they seem to struggle to get it. I hear you friend.

Hey, you are being too hard on yourself. :heart:

You are a human being who like anyone else makes mistakes and is not perfect. And you are not expected to be perfect, okay?

It’s natural for friendships to have hardships sometimes. But this doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad friend. It’s okay to hurt and struggle. It’s okay to reach out to people and friends when you need to. If people worry it’s because they care for and love you. It’s natural for people to worry if you’re having a hard time. :heart:

I know that when we are struggling with dark thoughts, depression and anxiety that it can be hard to receive the good things people say about us. It can be hard to believe it. It’s easy for us to want to believe the lies our mind tries to trick us into thinking about ourselves. But friend you are deserving of love. From others and from yourself.

Be patient and gentle with yourself my friend. You are not useless.

You make sense. You’re struggling and that’s okay. Hey. Like I said, you are human. You don’t have to be perfect all of the time.

I wish you strength and courage friend. Peace and healing. I applaud you for being courageous enough to come in here and share your heart. Sending you so much love.

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Sometimes we feel like no one cares, But that’s not true. You’re just misunderstood. Sometimes we feel these emotions that are hard to explain. Just cause no one understands, it doesn’t mean they don’t care.