I keep coming back to this forum because it’s so helpful. So thank you all. I’m here today to vent about what’s on my mind and heart. Keep in mind I’m a student 17M. This past Tuesday I had a teacher make a horrible comment to our class and I do not have the decency to write what he said. To sum it up he implicated rape directed at us in class. He pulled me out of class because I was so distraught after his comment and got mad at me. Thankfully my school handled the situation well and fired that disgusting teacher. I’m just horrified because he pulled me out of class and touched me (non sexually he just grabbed my shoulder because he was angry towards me)
To make matters worse late last night I received a text from a friend that I’ve had for over two years. He told me that he didn’t want to be friends anymore and this whole time we have been friends he had just been “putting up” with me. He accused me of manipulating him into going to the mall even though he invited me and I am very sure that I have never harassed him or manipulated him for anything. I was so bewildered and angry that I talked it out with him and he is just hell-bent on ending our friendship. I apologized for ever making him feel bad and when I tried to forgive him he told me he wouldn’t accept it. I was not expecting any of that from him.
This morning I woke up for school and I couldn’t get out of bed. I went ahead and sent him a goodbye paragraph telling him that he’s egotistical and at fault. I even told him that if I committed suicide he’d be partially to blame.
Now I regret sending him that text and telling him those things. I just feel so done with life. I have lost my faith in humanity and I have lost faith in myself. I don’t know if I can trust my other friends or family. I am absolutely mortified by the events of the past two days. I can’t take any more of this stuff in life.
Hi OMAMfan
I am sorry you have to deal with these things. Betrayals are the worst and you have experienced two in such a short time. First a teacher who is supposed to be a fair, wise and honourable betrayed your trust in the worst manner possible. Then your friend broke your friendship and blammed you for things that just werent your fault. You had a lot to deal with.
I know it sucks but the good thing is that these two people are now gone from your life. They never cared about you and they were never your friends. It is better to have no friends than bad friends. Please dont hurt yourself because of shitty people that did not deserve you. You can pull through this. I just know it. And then you can find people that truly care about you.
Thank you so much for sharing all of this here. I’m really glad that you’ve found in this community a safe place to share your heart when you need it.
It must have been so hard to process these recent events. As for your teacher, it’s really good that the school decided to take measures following what he said in class. It’s definitely not okay to imply that kind of thing, in any context. I can only imagine the shock and stupefaction that you and the other students have felt after hearing him saying those things.
On a different note, what happened with your now ex-friend is incredibly brutal. Knowing someone for so long then realizing that they saw you as someone you’re not and ending up going on separate ways… It makes sense to feel defeated and heartbroken in such circumstances. Not only it is violent to be suddenly left that way, but also that since his mind was already made, there was no possibility for you to actually talk and eventually make things better for both of you. Unfortunately, when there is a misunderstanding and someone ends up seeing us a certain way without wanting to talk about the issue, they generally end up seeing us through this specific perception. No matter what we do or say, it becomes incredibly hard to change their mind, even when their opinion is based on a misunderstanding. I’ve been there with an ex-friend. It’s heartbreaking and it sucks as somehow you have no say in it. You are seen as someone you’re not, and you are robbed of your ability to even speak for yourself. I’m sorry you’ve been put in this position, friend. My heart goes out to you.
What you said to him was unfair but you know it, and you understand that it came from the hurt you were feeling at the time. Sometimes our emotions are stronger and we say things that we don’t mean. We just need to convey the depth of our pain to someone.
I hope that in times to come, you will try to take care of yourself and to give yourself some grace. This situation is objectively painful as you are forced to grieve someone you were not ready to stop appreciating so suddenly. Your heart will need time to process and find some peace regarding this situation. So until then, please make sure to use all the support and resources you need. You may feel alone right now, but I promise you that you’re not. I feel your pain. And I hope this community will be a strong crutch for you in times to come.
hello there, your post heading is quite correct, it has been a hard week for you!
Glad your school took quick and correct action! Wonder if there is school counselor who could address you all in the wake of the event so everyone feels a bit more comfortable?
I’m sorry the breakup with your friend was so sudden and painful. It’s never easy when it seems like the reason is a wrong perspective of you. But also, he may be going through his own set of hard times, and maybe be lashing out at you.
I think it is unfortunate that your emotions got the better of you and you said that in the text. As unfair as the ending of the friendship is, we have to try to be aware of where boundaries lie. Since you do regret it, I would suggest you send a follow up text saying that last bit was unfair, and you didn’t mean it, you were upset and hurt by what happened.
That said, big emotions are draining and can make us question ourselves and how we view others. Wonderful advice given in other posts, but I just wanted to add, that as intense as it is now, pain can ease up, it can get better, can become bearable. You’ll get there. There’s more to life awaiting you. Be gentle to yourself now, and don’t deprive the world of your joy and personality due to these two people. You deserve to feel peace and happiness. Take care of yourself!
