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Its my fault everything ends up my fault

Not everything ends up at this point , not yesterday or the day before. It just sucks it had to be today . Today didn’t need to be “that day”. I’ve always been able to help others give them advice and i’m pretty much thankful i’m here for others that struggle too. It just sucks that i feel like what ever i do that turns upside down or bites me in the rear end makes me feel like its my fault. Do i want to die? no. do i want to harm myself? not really. It sucks when i have to put the blame on myself when others know this isn’t my fault but when i truly do know its my fault. This part that i’m about to write is gonna hurt me the most because i believe that what is going to be said is my fault. So i have 2 pets of my own that are males (rabbits). I didn’t go to bed till almost 4 am last night cause i was rearranging there area because it was in the way of my walk space . so i did and i said to my self “oh they will be fine nothings going to happen i believe.” i sprung out of bed to see the “aftermath”. it wasn’t till i checked the other one i had to wake my mom up and say “satin is bleeding” . I now have to check in on him every so often to see if hes going to be okay (which i know he will be , because hes a fighter). I just feel like i should of prevented this from happening . Why does it have to be me ? Why does this have to be my fault. Why do i have to hate myself. Why do i have to be like this. I feel like this is gonna bite me in the butt because it happened once and i’m afraid of it happening again. I don’t know what else to feel. My worst nightmare came true.

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I’m sorry an accident happened while trying to work on their area. But it’s just that. AN ACCIDENT. It could happen to anyone, you know? Don’t beat yourself up too hard my sweet friend. :heart:
I hope your bunny gets feeling better soon. Learning experience yea?
Love you friend. You didn’t mean to hurt or cause your rabbit harm. Just love him and check on him. It’s the best thing you can do. Forgive yourself. It is okay to do that. :heart:

  • Kitty
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Gosh it sounds like you’re feeling some intense guilt over this. I’ve done some things I still cringe at to this day. I can resonate with your pain and self-degrading thoughts.

I just want to add a little of my perspective on top of what DearKoyangi already shared. I think you caring for and being concerned with others is virtuous, I admire this perspective you have of taking some responsibility in what happened to your pet. However I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself or to your potential. I worry that you judging yourself so harshly will paralyze you from applying yourself fully which involves taking appropriate risks. We all make poor decisions, I’ve made some incredibly hurtful ones. But what about reframing this from disliking yourself to seeing yourself as a fallible human, just like the rest of the world. We need more caring people like you in the world, but if you fully apply yourself and do your best, I believe it’s impossible to not make more mistakes like this in the future. It sucks, it’s painful, but it’s human and you’re an okay person. I don’t look at you as any lesser for this mistake, in fact maybe even with more respect for caring and taking responsibility. You seem like a likable, caring person, and I hope you can see that in yourself and stop the self-hate.

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@DearKoyangi and @xTimeRemains
thanks for your repsonces to this post. It sucks when it happens but i guess it is what it is . i still kinda feel down about what happened … imma try to take it day by day.
thank you !

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Sounds like you’re much more at peace now, even though still hurting. I’m very glad :slight_smile: thanks for sharing!

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@all_around_ashley

You will get better. Let us (HeartSupport) know about if anything comes up. We love you.

thanks @AVJR it still kinda wreck me today that it happened . i just dont know how to feel about this . cause in my mind i want to do something about it but then the intuition kicks in and makes me feel like " will this turn to crap if it happens again." just these negative thoughts man.

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Sadly, Ashley, what happened, happened… But what can help you and your rabbit feel better is you being his main support right now! I’m sure he doesn’t blame you and you shouldn’t either. Accidents happen all the time.

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How long have you had these rabbits?

ive had oreo for a year , and i have satin for about 3 moths

You’ve been taking care of a rabbit for a year and two rabbits for three months? That’s a pretty big accomplishment. Rabbits actively cause trouble whenever they think they can get away with it.

Treat yourself like someone who needs your help. If someone else was having problems, what would you say to them, to try and comfort them? What advice would you give? If they had hurt you, would you forgive them? How do you respond to their cries for help? You are no less deserving of praise than those you would give praise to and no less undeserving of the shame and feelings of failure. You are not less deserving than everyone else. Telling yourself that everything is your fault is somewhat egotistical. You couldn’t do all that if you tried.

Here’s an experiment: lower your expectations for yourself as low as you can, so low that every victory is a triumph, if you brush your teeth you are incredible, if you can fall asleep you are incredible, if you can wake up and open your eyes you are magnificent. If you mess up, it’s just to be expected and it goes by unnoticed. Do you see how warped this is? You’re doing the same thing except on the other end of the expectation spectrum where everything is your fault and the good things are only to be expected and go by unnoticed. Both of the views and expectations of yourself are unrealistic and detrimental.

You can actually change your expectations you have for yourself. It takes a while and a lot of practice, but you can. Start by acknowledging the good things that you do. You have earned them, they are yours, and acknowledging them won’t make you a bad person but they will make you a more stable one. That thing in the back of your head that continually says some variant of “It’s your fault! You’re a bad person!” over and over? Ignore that as completely as you can. You won’t lose your conscience if you do. I was worried I would. I didn’t. And then, if you don’t have a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, get one.

I hope you are finding out the best part of having a pet rabbit: trust. If a rabbit is injured or immobile and you help them get better instead of eating them, they will innately trust you, forever, sometimes to a ridiculous level like putting up with a toddler trying to pet them.

I’m sorry for the delay. None of the previous drafts were good enough. Maybe this one will suffice.

A warning: If you haven’t done it yet, if you bond your rabbits they won’t come to you for attention anymore (unless you have their favorite treat). Everything else about bonding rabbits is good. They will be happier and they won’t get into nearly as much trouble and they will generate entertainment for themselves and you —like playing tag but having to stop every two seconds to lick each other’s foreheads or if one knows how to do those 3ft “happy hops” the other will learn and then they will compete. I’ve heard that two neutered males bond the easiest. Non-neutered males are weird. It’s just, the realization that they don’t emotionally need you for fun can hurt.

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