It's Not Your Fault (Miscarriage talk)

This is my first post on this page. I’ve read other’s posts and feel for everyone else and there is so much worse things to deal with than what is going on with me right now. I miscarried on 2/14 at 4:15 AM. Let me just say this, to everyone who has ever miscarried, it’s not your fault, you did’t do anything wrong. You did your best. Some times pregnancies just don’t take. 1 out of every 3 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. It’s ok to grieve after such loss. Which is exactly what I am doing now. I am currently grieving and going through a depressive state. Everything and everyone irritates me, I can’t be pleased no matter what, I barely eat, I sleep for more than 11-12 hours a day and some days I don’t even want to get out of bed. I know things will get better, I have a 2 year old little boy. I know I can get pregnant again, but the idea of trying right now makes me sad.

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Hey @Inuko,

Thank you so much for sharing all of this. I’m so very sorry for your loss, friend. As you said, this is a grieving process. It’s heavy, and the fact that you find it hard to get out of bed, to find any motivation these days, really makes sense. Your heart is hurting and you’ll need time. And even if it’s possible to get pregnant again, now might not be the time for you, and that’s okay. One day after another. For now, you need to take care of yourself.

I’m also really grateful for you for sharing such a kind message regarding miscarriage and guilt. You’re right, it happens more often than we imagine, and this isn’t something we have control over. Too often the future mom is blamed while she actually doesn’t need anyone to blame herself. But it’s not the fault of anyone. Just like what happened to you was not your fault, friend.

Are you supported during this difficult time? (your partner, your family, your friends?) During times of grief, we need our loved ones just like we need to spend time alone. Both are okay. And how you feel is okay. We’re in this with you, hurting with you, sending lots of love your way. :heart:

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Hello @Inuko,

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know what grief is like; waking up in the middle of the night, having no motivation, etc. You seem like a wonderful parent and I can tell that you are so strong. As a teen, I’m nowhere close to knowing how you feel right now, but I think you absolutely have the right mindset. I’m here for you girl; you will eventually get over this and remember that every bad experience is only to make you a better human being. I hope you have family and friends supporting you unconditionally.

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Hi @Inuko.

Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you for being open and honest with your experiences. Miscarriage is so hard, it is common, and it one of those things that women don’t talk about. Thank you for opening your heart.

You are absolutely right, this is heavy and it is ok to grieve. And I just want to remind you that it is ok. It is ok to take one month, week, day, hour, or minute at a time. Grieving is very personal and some grieve more than others and some grieve less than others. It totally makes sense to be grieving and to be so sad for loosing your precious little baby.

But I hope that you can find joy again. Peace. Hope. Even in the little things. Maybe something your 2 year old little boy does that makes you laugh. I hope you don’t mind me praying for you and your family.

Thank you again for sharing and I hope you will keep us updated on how you and your family are doing. :sparkling_heart:

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