I know this post is in quick succession of my other one (sorry I can’t spell), but I need to make this. I had a good day today. but tonight is not good. It’s even okay or fine. I don’t know where the joy from today went. I was fighting my brain just to get out of bed this morning. Throughout the day it got easier to chug along, but damn now I’m having a really hard time getting this train that’s in my head to stop. The brakes are broken. There’s only acceleration. I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret, but holy shit this is getting intense very fast. It doesn’t usually happen this fast. I fear my well-being may be in danger. I’m scared to reach out to the help line or anything because I don’t want to be a bother. Even just posting this is taking a lot from me. I don’t want to burden anyone. And I know nobody is making anybody read this…but still. I don’t want to be annoying or needy. I don’t want to come across as attention seeking. I’m not. Honest. It’s just that my brain is so loud right now and I have no idea where to start to calm it down.
You are a precious asset to the world. Humans need each other. Some are in need of support. Others are in need of fulfillment by providing that support. In all likelihood, in the not-too-distant future, you will be offering support to someone who is reluctant to “be a bother.”
By being in need, you are providing someone with the opportunity to be of use. Our needs and our compassion are both gifts.
Do not be afraid to reach out! Needing help is not being a bother, it’s being human. Let someone care for you, as doing so will help give their life meaning. It’s okay to be a burden, as burdens are meant to be shared. When burdens are shared between people of compassion, they don’t feel like burdens.
Consider also, right now, you are living with a heavy burden. There are people in the helping professions who can relieve you of your burden, without taking it on themselves.
Make someone’s day by giving them an opportunity to help you, just as you have helped me by giving me the opportunity to reach out and care about you.
thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your thoughts. since this was posted 2 hours ago, my hope is that you were able to either find help, decompress, or get some rest. in the chance that you are still feeling this intense rush of hopelessness and feeling like you’re a bother (which you absolutely are not, we are all here to support one another), i want you to focus on getting the train to slow down by putting something in its path whether it’s speaking to a loved one, watching your fav movie, or listening to your fav album. you are not alone in this feeling of things going south FAST.
it’s good to always have a clear plan when your brain is overpowering your joy and ability to function like the things mentioned above. so when the brakes in your mind fail, you can always fall back on a distraction until you are able to reach out to the help line. the help line’s purpose is to be there to support you in any way, especially in these moments.
aside from suggestions that always work for me when my thoughts go at a million miles too and i’m too hesitant to ask for help, i want to remind you that the world truly is better with you around, my friend. so when you convince yourself that you are a burden and don’t want to bother anyone when you need that support, the hypothetical train in your head will just pick up speed. i hope your week ahead is a smoother ride though <3