Ive always felt like this song made sense in relat

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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to a 45 by Shinedown
I’ve always felt like this song made sense in relation to my mind. I’ve always been the fat loser who was ostracized from the group. I’ve done a lot to try to change that, including completing an extremely challenging program that denies hundreds of applicants per year, scoring the highest on our national exam for that year, and getting a good job.

But nothing changed. Among my coworkers, I’m still just a fat loser.

I’ve been staring down a 45 for two decades, since I was a teenager. I often can’t see a reason to accept the way things won’t change. The only reason that I’ve been able to keep from pulling that trigger is because I know how selfish it would be. I know what it would do to my family.

But I want to so badly. I work so hard to be accepted, but I don’t think the kind of acceptance I’m looking for exists for someone like me. I’m not the kind of person people want in their lives. And I’m tired of living this way.

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Hey friend,

I’m sorry that people have been treating you that way for so long. It’s so painful when it feels like the world around you is just not interested in you, not willing to know you and accept you. It delivers to you this constant message that somehow something would be wrong with you and that you should be ashamed of yourself, which is so wrong. It’s this constant pressure that forces you to change yourself, to change who you are, in order to finally fit in or at least feeling like being a part of something different, something new. That’s not how it should have been for you, and not how it should be even now. I know this probably sound cheesy, but really there is nothing wrong with you, and if people don’t accept or appreciate you for who you are, then they have such a limited view over other human beings. My friend, it’s not you who are supposed to change, it is this world that needs to learn to be filled with more love, care and generosity. It is people that need to stop ostracizing others for absurd reasons. Because it doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like or what you do: you are part of this world, you do belong - because you have breath in your lungs, because you exist, because you have a unique story to tell and so much to bring to the table that others would not.

It’s good to hear that your family is there by your side, and I would love to encourage you to keep holding on them, to the love they have for you. Your coworkers or some other people may not become your people, but rest assured that however they see you does not, and will never, determine you. In your message, what I see is a beautiful soul who is willing to connect with others, who even has at heart to care about what they think and how they feel, who is determined in the things they do. These are qualities, although they should never be turned against you or against your needs. People around you don’t have to hold such power over you - even if of course it’s easier said than done. I’ve been myself struggling with social anxiety and performance anxiety for so long that I’m constantly on this line of worrying about how people perceive me, and wishing above anything else to not be judged negatively or rejected. It’s such a lot of thoughts and patterns in our mind that are to detach ourselves from. Still our value rises so much above what other think or how they view us. It hurts to feel so solitary in the midst of experiencing rejection though, and I hope you could find at least a little bit of comfort knowing that you are not alone in this.

You matter my friend. So, so much. You are enough just as you are. Hold Fast. :heart: