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Belongs to: Therapist Watches the World Burn by Falling in Reverse
I’ve been traumatised by being raised in an extremely chritian family where I couldn’t be myself. All the things I liked where ‘‘from the devil’’ (rock and metal music, alternative clothes, fantasy and disney movies because there was magic in it, I’m gay and non binaire) even as a little kid I never believed in god. Because of all that I was called a child of the devil, possesed by demons etc. day after day. I was mentally and emotionoly abused and neglected, because of that and they kept on trying to force their believes on me. I was never good enough as myself. In the videos of falling in reverse a common thing that keeps coming back is the church that burns and things like that. It looks like he has also experienced some trauma with things like that and for me it really helps me with my trauma to see that I’m not the only one who has such bad experience with that faith. Also the depression and all the other things his lyrics are about are so relatable and really helps me.
I have complex ptsd, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder with agorafobia, anorexia, adhd and a chronic depression. I’ve been hospitalised since I was 18 (I’m 34 now and still in a mental health institutiion). I have had lots of different medication and seen hundreds of therapists and it doesn’t get better. I wish there where therapist here who are wiling to listen to music that descripes how I feel, because that’s the way I can communicate. With words from myself I’m afraid to say anything and because of that I leave out lots of stuff thats on my mind.
Thank you for sharing your story, you have been through so much, and here you are, still persevering which takes such a lot of courage!
Music is so powerful and speaks to us on such a deep level at times. When I was a teenager and I heard Linkin Park for the first time it blew my mind that there was someone else out there describing all the things I was thinking and feeling and I wasn’t completely alone in the world.
Perhaps there is a way you could express the messages in the music creatively to help you?
I am sorry you went through such hard and cruel times especially if it was supposed to be your home. To be punished just simple from being yourself, a kid…its not fair. You deserved to be loved and accepted for everything that makes you “you”. Even if this not clear to others as for music, identity, passions or a mix of everything together. We all know now that despite our favorite color or faith - we can be loved and can express love same way to others.
The way you connected with music, and this song is a way to express yourself is such a fantastic example how sometimes we feel same way as others, but we have so much difficulty to find right words. That’s why we are all here and building a community, supporting you. The fact that you can feel understood through this song shows just how strong you are for holding onto those lines, despite world being so difficult and hard on you for such long time.
What i believe is extremely important here, you are open for support, you know what you want and what life you expecting from yourself - someone who can understand your pain, emotions, similar way that some of the music pieces there are presenting. I might not have all the answers to your questions, but i believe that with your approach, your integrity and pushing forward despite all the “obstacles” and baggage you have there on your shoulder is something great, an strength, resilience to be proud of and deservers some kind of attention, recognition. You are through so much, and yet you still fighting. That is something huge!!
Please remember that your story matters, you are not alone. We are here for you!
You deserve to be seen, heard and be yourself in complex, beautiful and your way. Sending you all of my good thoughts, support, hugs and love
