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I've got no Coping Skills Today


#1

I feel like I’m gonna lose my shit right now. My kid slept over his dad’s and came home this morning–he’s been demanding, whiny, throwing tantrums when he isn’t getting his way… He’s exhausted but doesn’t nap anymore (he’s 6). I have no patience. I’ve been dealing with on and off screaming/crying/tantrums for over an hour now. The catalyst? Asking him to pick some books to read, and which one he wanted to read to me. He asked to play with one of my transformers and I said okay. He couldn’t transform it back, and neither could I. (Those stupid adult transformers are hard AF). He asked to play with Ratchet and I said only if he didn’t transform it. Cue tantrum. I explained they’re my toys to display and he cannot always touch other people’s things. I put him in his room and tried to transform my Barricade back, but couldn’t do it and felt a panic attack coming on. Ended up throwing it against the wall and it shattered apart. Instead of piecing it back together I tried ripping it apart more and throwing it in the trash. I’m so angry, which just broke down into sobbing. I can’t deal with my kid’s pendulum emotions today. I don’t want to be a mom today. I want to run away and not come home. I’m crying because I’m so so overwhelmed. All I wanted to do was READ A FREAKING BOOK TOGETHER. I just can’t right now. i want to scream and throw things and break things and this is a stupid intense response to dumb factors and it makes me hate myself even more.


#2

@GranolaMoose

Have you thought about going outside, and taking a walk? Walking for 30 minutes or 1 hour can help. This is the only suggestion I can give. I hope you are hanging on, and thank you for sharing your struggles with this community. God bless you.


#3

I am so sorry to hear this has been a challenging and painful day for you. I wish I had some good advice but I really just want you know that you are not alone. We are here for you. It won’t make everything get better but I really do appreciate you opening up and sharing. Find something today that will bring a smile to your face. It can be as simple as having your favorite food. I hope the day gets a bit easier and that tomorrow will be better. Stay strong my friend!

  • Geoffrey

#4

@AVJR

Thank you for the suggestions. We did walk to the park and he played on the playground and I tried to sit in the gazebo for probably close to an hour.

My biggest challenge is because he’s an only child and doesn’t really have friends right around here so his best friend is me. Which I love. But I also get SO touched out, overwhelmed, and overloaded with input from him. I want some time alone and can’t get it.


#5

@HoldOntoHope24

Thank you for responding. He’s gonna head to his dad’s at 5pm today so I’ll have time to just fall apart later. Maybe I’ll take an epsom bath or lay in my hammock. I just need to do absolutely nothing for a while tonight, I think.


#6

That’s a great plan! It’s hard to unwind and relax after such a stressful day but I am glad you are going to try and find some ways to do just that. I think I have only ever tried laying in a hammock once. It always looks so relaxing when I see someone in one. :slight_smile:


#7

Hey GranolaMoose

Im sorry you have an panic attacks and it hard to be a mom. I cant image trying to balance of being a mom and dealing with mental health issues. But it good you getting it out on her and letting out some steam. I know it good to take a quick walk or something to get you mind off stuff. I can see having a 6 old can be a challenge. They are young and dont always understand certain thing like playing other people stuff and being a grummy kid. It okay to feel frustated and to be upset. I do feel the dad not helping him to teach him how that he cant always get what he wants. So maybe try talk to him and so that when he come its easier.

Another thing that could help is try CBD oil to calm you anxiety, it may help so not overwelming.

To be honest im not a parent , I cant say that im expert, but I do understand you love your kid and sometime being parent is hard job, sometime you get frusted and overwelmed. You teach your son that cant why get what you want, and try to talk him, that you trying everything you can and make him understand. Remeber he may be young, but is it good for his age to teach how to not freaking when he things not going his way. You dont have to yell or be anger, sit him on you lap and expand you having a rough too. Also, may get him some his own toys, like tranformer or logos. That way he not touching your stuff and he get play with toys.

When i was younger and i get tantrum, one woman taugh, that if should hold my arms ( lighty not anything rough) ask him what is wrong. It may that your son doese not know how communicate his feelings and try calm him down. Once he get older something will become easier, he would have less tantrums and be more open minded.

Also try have someone help with, like your mom or friends so you not only person taking all of time.
Just take deep breath and figure some coping skill to easy anxiety. Finally, give your son a hug and tell him that you love and you always be their for him, It okay to be frusated of being an parent, but remeber you have a son that loves and you are his world!

Its okay to feel anxiety, it happen to all of us.


#8

@Seimiccoyne

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I do have some CBD oil I should try using next time. I appreciate the idea of getting support but unfortunately I live 30min from my mom (who isn’t the easiest to deal with because she has BPD), and most of my other friends are 20-30min away as well. Additionally, as a teacher I’m one of the only people out of my circle of friends not working so lots of people aren’t available during the day either!

Turned my AC on because it’s 85 degrees in my house right now. Kiddo left with his dad so I’m going to rest. My eyes are burning from exhaustion.


#9

Dude I dont have kids, but dealing with anxiety sucks! I had an eisopde this weekend over some thing little and I made it into a big deal. I havent been using the right coping skills.

But what I have be doing is usually sqeeze my toes or hand for 4 second while taking a breath in, then hold it for too 2 seconds, then releasing for 4 seconds. What also help is to put cold water in my face, they say holding ice cubes can help too!