Hi. I’ve kinda just realized something.
I’m not exactly in a position where I can have friends. At least not irl friends. I’m not exactly sure how online friends work, but I’m starting to come to terms that it might be all I will have right now. I’d like to make friends irl, but, I don’t exactly talk to people anymore, and I’ve blocked out everyone I’ve wanted to talk to. I’ve kinda made no chance for myself, and I guess I’m going to learn to accept it. And try to figure out how this online stuff works.
I’ve never usually been one for online connections, but more and more it seems like its all I have… Haha. I guess it’s just starting to hit me. I have to be greatful to have at least this. And start getting used to being alone again.
This isn’t exactly a bad thing, I need to get used to this, I need to remember what this is like. It’s what fixed me last time.
Knowing you’re all alone, and you have no one, that’s what saved my life last time.
But while I don’t have anyone, I still have people online right now, so I can be greatful for one thing, even if it may not be healthy for me.
You know, I just realized how ironic that is.
The one and only wish I have ever had, and the last thing that has ever helped me, or even been granted.