I can’t stop crying… My relationship is falling apart.
Everything seems to be getting worse, my partner doesn’t seem to want to talk to me anymore, she says she “shouldn’t have to put up with my shit.”
Sometimes I can wake up in a bad mood, I’m fully aware it happens and I’m very accountable for my actions… But I can’t think of a time where she has once tried to validate my feelings or tell me she’s there for me.
I always get told I’m causing a problem or making an issue…
Am I really that much of a bad person that she thinks so lowly of me, that she can’t approach and be honest with me?
We’ve discussed an endless amount of times, addressing issues that bother us whilst we’re arguing is not the best way to go about addressing an issue.
What’s best is that we have the ability to listen and talk to each other no matter what the topic of conversation, negative or positive…
As a person, I crave in depth, intellectual conversations, but to her I’m just a broken record…
I’ve noticed she only ever tells me the truth during arguments, because that’s where she grows the confidence to shout at me and tell me what’s on her mind… never any other time.
I have told her so many times, I want us to have the ability to talk calmly about any issues we may have between each other.
When I say I want to talk, she views it negatively… What I’m trying to do, is get things off my chest so that the negativity doesnt evolve into resentment between each other.
… but after so many years of this happening, all of the things I’ve bottled up because of her over the years, just to keep the peace, are now boiling over.
I’m fully aware our relationship won’t last on peace and silence, but she thinks for some reason it will…
Please help, I don’t know where else to go…
All I have for emotional support is her, and now I don’t even have that…
Now when I cry, I don’t see any empathy from her, she just rolls her eyes and says, “here we go again”…
Have I really been that much of a horrible person to deserve to be looked down upon and taken the piss out of for my extreme emotions?
It’s lockdown here in the UK and I can’t even escape to a friend’s house to take a break…
Where it truly hurts the most, is almost every argument she tells me: “I need help, I’m not working to improve myself, I’m just a horrible and nasty cunt.”
(As much as I’m not bothered about name calling, it still hurts me every single time…)
Even though I joined the Heart Support community to help me become a better person for her and myself.
She reminds me on a regular basis, I’m not doing anything of the sort… I just pretend and sit on my arse and do nothing…
How can I work with someone who thinks so low of me?
I clearly do a lot to try and better myself, but she reminds me a lot that I don’t…
When in my heart, I thought I was making really good progress…
Maybe just not good enough for her I guess? I don’t know.
My emotions are all over the place, I can’t seem to muster my strength to be happy without her.
She is everything to me, but there is nothing or no emotions I can show to her anymore that will help her understand, I’m just hurting really bad and I need a friend…
Now, it seems as if us getting on with each other, is nothing but a dream…
If it ends between us two, it feels like it would be the end of my happiness.
Ive dedicated so much of my life to her and thrown so many chances away at having another close friend to talk to, but because I trusted she would always be there for me in the end, I never pursued it.
I guess I don’t deserve to have that support from her…
I’m trying so hard to make things better between us but I seem to be making it worse.
I’ve never felt so alone and empty.
I’m really struggling today, and we dont seem to be improving…