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Jealousy…

Hi, I don’t really know where to start… but i have been feeling really jealous because my best friend is finding new friends… the problem isn’t there it’s that we are both finding new people and making new friendships. I HATE that i feel jealous about her making friends. Like it is not my place to feel that way and I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. Maybe because I’m scared that she’ll find someone better than me or something… i don’t know what to do should i talk to her about it???

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From: I Am Reclaimer

Hey Friend, meeting new friends is a part of life. Sometimes when we grow older, we grow apart and that’s just down to where life takes us. Though, I can feel your pain on this - it’s hard to put into words, but it’s like the closest person to you outside of your family seems to be growing away from you. Fret not, the more pressure you put on it the worse it will get, let life take its course and be the best version of yourself, the right friends will stay by your side through thick and thin. That said, it’s important you talk to her about it - just make sure to do it in a mature way as to not cause unneeded drama between you two. good luck, you got this :slight_smile:

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From: Aces MCL36M

Hallos! Jelousy isn’t a good thing you need to realise you’re best friend isn’t trying to make you jelous for making new friends. She’s doing it as she can really thats it. She can have more than 1 friend even though as hard as it can be on you sas you think she/he will find a new bestfriend is very doubtfull she will be more loyal to you than her/his other friends trust me. Best friends are loyal to each other. I wouldent really worry about it as much as you are : D.

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Hi Danar I know how it can be hard to make good friends and I know the feeling of fearing you’ll lose them.
Have you thought about what it is that makes you feel like you’ll lose them to other friends?
Sometimes we place a value on ourselves and if we feel that value is low, we expect that others also share that same thought.
Perhaps your friend is someone who is more extroverted and makes friends easily. I have a best friend who makes friends easily and has a lot of friend groups, initially I felt a bit jealous when they were doing things with them too, but I also learned that they are a real and genuine friend who always has my back and does make time for me.
So maybe an idea could be that you could ask your friend if they could sometime do something with a group of friends and introduce each other and hang out. Maybe you’ll even make new friends!
If you’re a bit nervous if meeting new people sometimes seeing a movie is a good ice breaker.
Hope you’re doing okay

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, sometimes we find new friends along the way and also keep the ones that are important. If you’re really close perhaps sitting down her and explaining how you feel would be a good idea. You could even try and make one super group of friends too by introducing your new friends with hers. Just because you’re both finding new friends doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll loose each other. ~Mystrose

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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi Danar. Welcome to Heartsupport. I think you might want to check up with your friend. Try to do something together like go to the cinema and the ask them about the situation. Tell them that you feel like things have not been the same and that you would like to know if you are both on the same page. Who knows, maybe they could introduce you to the new frinds and you could be a really nice friend group. You are not being jelaous, you are just scared to lose a friend and thats normal. Just be polite with them and make them feel welcomed. I really hope everything goes well :slightly_smiling_face:

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, I get it, its hard to see your good friends meeting new people, becoming close to others, that fear that they will have a stronger connection with somone than they have with you but the beauty of friendship is that we can all have friendships, relaionships and connections with countless people and they can all be different but mean the same to us. Love and friendship doesnt have a boundary and that is important so if your friend finds 50 new friends that will not lessen the love and respect they have for you in any way. Just remember to keep some time free so that you have your time together once in a while as those moments will become less frequent as you get older but more special. Much Love Lisa x

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, Danar and welcome to the HeartSupport community!

It’s wonderful that you are making new friends and branching out. That is great and it is wonderful that your friend is as well. I know it can be scary when this starts to happen and you think that it may be the beginning of the end of your friendship but that won’t happen if you keep putting in effort with your best friend. I wholeheartedly suggest talking to your friend and telling her how you think it is wonderful that you are both making new friends but that you value the friendship the two of you have tremendously and you want to make sure not to lose what you have. Make a plan to talk or hang out (even for a short time) at least once a week or every two weeks so that you two make sure you are continuing to spend time together and keeping each other as a priority in your lives.

You can also try bringing your best friend into the fold with your new friends and mention that you would enjoy getting to know her new friends as well. There is no reason you cannot create a friend group from these new friendships if the personalities are similar enough.

Definitely talk to your friend. Communication and honesty is the basis of all relationships. Good luck and please feel free to post again here anytime :hrtlegolove: