To keep things brief I’ll exclude details found in some of my earlier posts. So K (Very very important person to me) decided to take a break from using the platform we communicate on. That’s not the problem though, I’m all for her taking time to take care of herself. Only problem with that is that I don’t talk to many people. There are maybe 3, K, one that’s pretty busy and stressed herself, and one that’s more or less available. I’ve gone to the third as much as I can feel okay about but they also have their own things to do. So I’ve been pretty lonely over the past couple of days. That happens easily, it’s not uncommon. But in being lonely I’ve realized just how much stress there is for me to be under right now. K is usually a huge help in calming me down. I’ve had a lot of reasons to be stressed. I’ll start with some of the smaller ones. I, being a junior with high grades and a promising PSAT score, have been being absolutely bombarded by colleges. I know that’s quite far away, but as I mentioned this is the smallest one. I’m a little concerned things won’t be quite the same with K after this because I said some things I really shouldn’t have. I still blame myself for her needing a break in the first place. The most stressful thing right now is this program I opted into earlier. It’s really stressing me out with all the requirements it has to actually participate and there’s a part that I see no chance of completing by the deadline. A part of me wants to drop it so I don’t have to, but then I’d be leaving only one person in my section of the program, I feel like my parents would be disappointed, my teacher that helps to organize it, and I’ve already gone through a lot for it. I’m really torn. If anyone can help with anything I’ve mentioned that would be appreciated so much.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling lonely.
Although it’s definitely important to keep up good grades and test scores if that’s something that will be good for your future. And I’m not sure what program you’re talking about, but that seems to be important to you.
However, it’s not worth risking your health/mental health. You’re young, you have your whole life to stress about things. If you think that dropping out of a program will help you feel less overwhelmed, there’s no reason to feel bad about it or worry about disappointing parents. I’m sure they’ll support your decision. :)
(this is my first time responding to someone on this site, so I’m sorry if I’m not great at helping haha)
I hope you’re doing good!
Thank you for responding, and don’t worry about being good at helping, because good at it or not, what you said helped. I had asked around about it and a good portion of answers were that they believed in me and wouldn’t be disappointed if I didn’t manage to. That didn’t set well with me. Out of everyone I asked only one person shared your viewpoint on this, so I didn’t consider it much. Now that someone that’s completely unbiased has said that it seems like an option now. I feel like the stress from that is already starting to fade just from knowing it’s an option.
Knowing that people will still be here for you and believe in you no matter what can be a relief. It’s quite normal to be worried about your future, even if, as you said, it’s not about things that will happen tomorrow. Yet it’s still important to you so it matters. It’s true that colleges and grades are not everything in your life even if it feels like this. When you have to chose your future orientations, it can be stressful and it’s okay to be worried about it. Just know that your feelings are valid. And no matter what happens, it’s not gonna define you as a person. Who you are goes beyond this and you’ll still be loved.
Also I’m sorry you’ve been feeling alone these days. The number of people you’re used to talk with doesn’t really matter as long as those relationships are important to you. We rarely have a lot of true friends. But also you can easily feel alone when you don’t have a lot of people to connect with, even temporarily.
Maybe being aware of this can actually be an opportunity to you. There will be moments in your life when you’ll certainly have to face this situation again. Maybe ask yourself what you could do from know to work on this. It can be about the amount of relationships that you have but also (if not even more) about how you can handle those moments when you’re alone. Because being alone doesn’t mean you have to endure it. In fact there could be a huge difference between solitude and loneliness, depending on how you use this time that you have for yourself. You’ve sent this message few days ago, you listed the reasons why you feel stressed these days… I think it’s already pretty positive. And a healthy thing to do. You seem to be actually really aware of how you feel and what could help you in a healthy way, such as talking to others about your fears.
Sorry… just some ramblings.
What remains important is that you’re gonna be okay, friend. You’ve got so many strengths and qualities. We believe in you. Always.
Sending much love to you right now.