Lately I’ve been trying to work on helping myself. I don’t want to have to reach out to people with every little thing that has me in a crappy place in the day. Especially if it’s small and something I need to be able to get over by myself.
Today is just higher on the spectrum of my bad days; I’m struggling to stay motivated and I’m feeling really annoyed. Right now my sister seems annoyed with me and my mom is annoyed because her back hurts but she doesn’t know when to just sit down. When to just stop. She just keeps going and if she keeps finding things to clean it’s not going to help her, or her back, or anyone else.
This stuff is kind of minuscule compared to the past but it’s just really bothering me right now and I need to ge tit out.
I know that the only reason I’m having certain thoughts like “I won’t fit in” or “I’m so alone” or “they don’t actually like me” is just due to me and the time I am in right now; these thoughts will be easier to get over in a few days.
Also my sister is slamming a lot of things right now and I know she doesn’t mean to but it’s really triggering me right now; I tried to put my headphones in but my mom just got mad at me for not hearing her.
My sister is also dating this guy and I’m happy for her but now I’m alone again. Physically at least. She’s been staying at his house a lot so I just am alone a lot of the time.
I’m really tired all the time again as well; I know I need to get back to taking my meds at the same time again but when that alarm goes off I’m just too tired to even turn off my alarms nontheless even take the meds.
I feel annoying because these things are every day. I feel crappy for having to talk about it all so much; I’m really trying to figure a lot out on my own because it’s something I need to know how to do.
I guess in all I just feel alone, I’m tired, I’m annoyed. College is also frustrating me and I’m scared it’s going to turn into last semester.