It seems that everytime I feel like it’s safe to proclaim that things are getting better, something happens the very next day that completely throws me off. Its like curse, kinda like how my mom always seems to be late to things and events.
I want to feel safe but I just never get that chance. Not even for a full week.
I just find myself doing what I used to do when I was a younger teen which is indulging in the fictional world in my head. Blocking out this one cause its too painful and I need comfort so I think about and go through all the characters I create. Now I just want to write even more than ever despite the fact that I am stressed so the natural flow of words isn’t there.
First of all I am glad you are doing better then you were a week ago. You have really been at a low point there. I want to say that it is completely ok to do what gives you peace and a break from the real world. Many people do that in different forms like painting, videogames or watching Netflix. You are a creative person with a wild imagination. I think your outlet is great. When it comes to your emotional unstability… I think your emotions are very wild and they go up and down a lot. You are easily influenced by the people around you and I am afraid it wount go away any time soon. Your emotional rollercoaster might be something you should take into consideration. Dont blame yourself for being like this but try to work with this. If you know you wount get the understanding you need from your mum and your brother then try not to engage in conversations about your emotions or thoughts with them. Try to protect yourself from being hurt. Creating a space in which you will feel safe is also important. If there isnt a week of stability maybe thats too much… how about three days. Can you work towards that goal? Three days of stability and relative safety. Lets try that Amaris. I really wish the best for you and I hope things will turn out for the better. Good luck Amaris