Tonight, I got a bit of a lecture from my mom for doing nothing since classes have been over, which is not true. She complains that I use twitch and discord Non-stop which I am not on it every second that I am awake. Like always I feel controlled, which never seems to go away.
She set some rules up, which I think is very unfair. I am 20 years old. I should be free to do as I please during summer break, I’m not under 18…mom… My mom thinks that its okay to set up a rule where I have to set my phone in one certain location for the whole day, untouched in her eyesight and charged. This is not fair. It’s like I am under 18 or something. If I need to communicate with friends, or do something that makes me happy, and laugh… I should be allowed to do so.
With her, I am not allowed to be happy, she hates my laughs and I have to be serious, or something on that borderline.
On the daily, I feel like she doesn’t understand what makes me happy. Chatting on discord, watching twitch, playing games, streaming on my channel, and Art (Graphic Design) is what makes me happy. Damn I WISH SHE WOULD UNDERSTAND THAT.
There are days that I swear that her brain is 1cm in size, its unbelievable. Her brain is filled with anger, I don’t know how to approach to her that her brain is screwed the wrong way.
This is where she tells me almost on the daily that I have a “dumb brain” or “an undeveloped brain.” Today she thought that I didn’t understand that I need to pay my college loan after I graduate. I know this, and I’m not a noob, mom. No matter how times I’ve said that “I know this.” She complains and shouts over and over that I don’t. It gets to the point that we are shouting at each other over and over and I start slamming things. I also hide in the bathroom or my bedroom to sit, dwell over this craziness, and cry. She also thinks that I live in this “little world” which is what’s on twitch and discord, I swear that that I know what goes on IRL.
I guess I’m just a “f-ing pain” to you mom and NOTHING ELSE! -goes to the pillow and cries to sleep-