Just feeling the need to vent

Ok so last night was a very rough night. My sister was on a call with her bf and I wanted to lay down to try to go to sleep. When I was trying to ask her nicely to plz go in another room she proceeds to scream at me which just completely ruined my whole mood…to where the rest of the night I was litterally crying. She gets so mean to me… especially when she’s with her bf and I’m really at the end of my rope with it. Is it bad that I’m really wanting them to break up?

I just really feel like her relationship with her bf is really damaging our relationship as sisters and I just don’t know how to fix that…it really bothers me to the point of wanting to be away from her and just not talk to her anymore… forever…and that right there makes me feel like a very bad person bc ik sisters are supposed to love each other but at the same time…I feel like she hates me…idk what to do my dad already warned her that it would get to that point… it’s just really hard for me to deal with…

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it’s hard when people get into a new relationship and there are major changes to their other relationships.

Is there a way you can sit down with her, when things are calm, with your dad, and work out some general ‘rules’ or agreements for how things work with your shared room, I’m assuming? Like if it’s after 8pm, calls should be taken outside the room if the other one is trying to sleep, messages should be muted so the constant dings don’t disturb the other person, etc.

I hope you two can find some healthy ways to establish what you need and how best to get it, and minimize the damage to your relationship.

Hey Andy
Thanks for your post, I am a little confused by it to be honest, Was your problem really then with the phone call or is it becasue you are not happy with your sister being in a new relationship? I understand how scary it is when someone you care for gets a new partner and the fear of life changes and esp our own relationship changing with them, the worry of not being needed or worse wanted is real but it has to be understood that it is our irrational fear that is the problem here and I say our because I have the same problem when there are changes, I too get frightened but that is my fear and I cannot put that fear on to the person who is making changes because they are living their lives and have every right to do so.
I think as far as the phone call and sleeping thing, a compramise could have been found whereas a time could have been put on who is in the room for how long. Most situations can be quietly sorted if people stay calm and speak nicely.
I hope you and your sister can come to a better understanding and meybe in time you can meet this new boyfriend and have a new ally within the household on occasions.
I wish you well
Much Love Lisa x

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Hey @Andy,

How you feel and what you think doesn’t make you a bad person at all. It is truly the reflection of how it is to feel somehow rejected by someone we used to be close to, and the fear of losing them as well. When I was younger and my (older) sister had boyfriends, I was always somehow jealous and afraid that this new person in her life would interfere with our relationship as sisters. I looked up to her and she was my anchor as I grew up, so a new person in the picture, a person who would have her attention, was something that I often saw as a threat. It’s not abnormal to feel that way and to struggle a bit to get used to changes like these.

I don’t know how is relationship with your sister precisely and how comes she has started to yell at you and be mean like this, but, this whole situation seems to require some peaceful communication between you two. A honest talk, or even a heartfelt letter - something that would show her that you are affected by recent changes in your relationship, and that you’d like for both of you to work on this, together. She may or may not be receptive to that. But in any case, how you feel about it wouldn’t make you a bad person. You want this situation to be okay for everyone, and not seeing one person enduring the behavior of others. It is absolutely normal.

Let us know how it goes in times to come. We love you, @Andy. :hrtlegolove:

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