Just had a meltdown

I just had my second melt down in about 5 years I couldn’t get the fucking drain plug to sit in the sink right to hold water so I threw the fucking thing and screamed til I felt my throat go raw I’m scared I’m regressing in terms of progress in being able to manage my emotions and I hate it I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed and I hardly do anything in life like I cant even do dishes or try to do dishes with out either getting fucking pissed off or stressed out I feel so freaking broken I can’t seem to do anything without dealing with massive emotions I hate having my fucking anxiety and autism some times cuz I’m cursed to be aware I’m different have no means of dealing with it but also feeling like a massive piece of shit for not being able to do anything normal people can do and I hate hate hate it

1 Like

Hi @Derpplup

As someone with autism myself I can totally relate to how ur feeling. It can often feel like u can’t do anything right or like everything and society is just against you and it’s a horrible awful feeling. I want to share some coping mechanisms that have helped me get through some bad meltdowns in hopes that they might help you too.

One thing I have learned (and still learning) to do is recognize when I’m starting to feel too flustered. While there are still times when I miss those signs, I have found the times where I catch them in time very helpful. Once I have recognized that I’m getting to overwhelmed I try to go to a quiet place where it’s just myself to try to calm myself. If i am able to i will often go to my room. If I am out somewhere i will just try to step away from the situation for a moment.

Once I am in that safe place I will try to think aloud about how I’m feeling in that present moment. If I am in my room I have some stress balls I can squeeze, my own custom made sensory wall with those sequins that change color when you put ur hand through it. I’ll even try to cover myself up with my blanket if it’s not too hot to try to seek some compression. Sometimes some relaxing music might help.

If I am unable to go in my room I will just try to get away from the situation. Sometimes if I remember to do so ill do some deep breathing (this doesn’t always help me but it may help you) or ill try to listen to my music on my phone. Sometimes I’ll even take a walk. Anything you can do that will help you calm down do it. If all else fails maybe try to contact a friend or family member if possible let them know how ur feeling.

I hope this helps and I wish u the best of luck :slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes

Thank you I often push my self to my meltdown point cuz i worry what my family will think of me if I don’t get something done I’ve only recently learned I’m autistic and my family has always treated me like I’m neurotypical even tho I’ve been having meltdowns my whole life and I hate it like I was raised in a neurotypical way and so I hold all these standards for my self some that are just too high but i do it out of fear of being yelled at and I just It makes things so hard for me

U are very welcome. I 100% feel that. It’s hard when people don’t understand especially parents. I’m that way with my dad sometimes I feel like he just wants me to pretend my autism doesn’t exist. He’s always telling me “Autism isn’t an excuse” ik it’s not an excuse but it’s a disability that we can’t always control and I think it just takes some people getting educated and learning that it’s ok to have emotions. Alot of neurotypicals were taught at a young age that it’s not ok and I think that’s where the misunderstandings come in. Tbh I used to be the same way. It wasn’t until I started researching more into mental health that I started to learn and realize that it’s ok to have bad days.

It just often feels like I have alot more bad days then good.some times

I understand that feeling deeply. I have my bad days too and alot of times it seems that way to me. Sometimes hardly a day will go by where I don’t cry at least once. But just know that even tho it doesn’t seem that way rn things can and will get better. U got this I have faith in you.