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I just found this page, and I’m looking for some directions. I am usually the one giving the advice, so I know all the standard lines. I will turn 59 in less than a month, and I feel that I have exhausted all my avenues. My childhood was spent in a very mentally abusive home. I have been through anger management as an adult because of this. I usually handle it very well, but I now feel that I have nothing else to give. My wife and I got into a screaming match earlier because I feel that I am just done. I can’t do anything right, and in all avenues of life I have basically been told I’m an idiot over the past 3 weeks. I am wanting to give it all up and just wander through the last few years of life. I don’t know what else to do?

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I’m right there with you, feeling like I can’t do anything right. Even calling myself an idiot. Growing up wasn’t the greatest for me either. I’ll be praying for the both of us, and praying also that you wouldn’t want to live the rest of your years that way, but would want to give it all to Jesus. Myself too.

There are lots of kind people here that would help you. I am going to try to help you.
Something you can do is take your pain inside you and help sympathise and help other people who have similar feelings and have also been through trauma.
Also, you’ve most likely got a lot longer to live than just a few years if you are 58 and almost 59.
Also, I’m pretty sure you did something right by coming to Heartsupport.
Here is a place where there are lots of people who have been through trauma who could help you get through and you could help them too, and so it would be like a symbiotic relationship.

Welcome to HeartSupport!! I am glad you found us and thanks for reaching out.

I know what it is like for trauma to tear a hole inside of you so big that it leaves you wandering aimlessly and empty.

I am still working on my own trauma myself, so for that I can tell you that you aren’t alone. And I am sure that if you are usually the advice-giver, then you know this :wink:

But sometimes, even though you “know” all of these classic lines, it still helps for someone to say them directly to you. So, here I go:

You matter.
You are valuable.
You are not defined by your past.
You are strong and capable.
This pain will not last forever.
You did not deserve your trauma.
You are loved.
You do not need to have it all together.
It is ok to ask for help and admit that you do not have all the answers.
Don’t give up! You have so much more to give.

I know that these are simple and you have probably said that to many others, but sometimes you need to go back to the basics. And my question to you is, even though you may have said all of these things to other people, do you believe them yourself?

In the bottom of your heart, do you truly believe every one of those statements?

If you really love your wife, which I am sure you do, open up to her. Be honest about what you have been feeling and ask her to support you. You do not need to do this alone and I am sure that your wife just wants to support you through your journey. I am with @leonafan000. I think you have a lot more than just a few years left in life. So. make the most of them and actively pursue the healing you desire. You deserve freedom!!

I believe in you and I know you are strong because you came here for help. That takes a lot of courage.

You’ve got this. I believe in you.

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