As the title says, I have just left my four year relationship with my now ex fiancee. My heart is absolutely broken. I want to try to work things out, but it just seems like a long shot at this point. I’m devastated and I don’t know how to process these emotions.
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Hi SageTheSpirit
I know things seem pretty bad right now. It will take time to heal from this but the good thing is that you can take that time. Toxic relationships are really demanding on ones mental health and can be devastating. Be glad that you are out of that relationship. It might not seem that way now but when you will meet the person that cares about you and loves you and you love them back unconditionaly you will be happy. You must let go of the things that let you down in order to reach for the better ones. Please take care of youself now. Heal and let your emotions out. It is not healthy to hold them in. Know that you are on the right track. Every day you are closer to being happy again. Keep going. You can do it. I believe in you. 
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Thank you for the kind words. 
I really just don’t know how to process it, but I’m sure I will get through this with this community at my back.
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Dont mention it . I just wanted to say that if you feel like it might be too much to process it all right now there is always the option for therapy. It can really help you deal with things. It is up to you of course but just know that you can always try that.
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Oh yes, I’m most definitely going to try therapy and see how that goes. I feel so messed up but at the same time, I feel so level headed and actually able to think properly if that makes sense.
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Here to celebrate anyone escaping a toxic relationship!! So happy for you!
Therapy is a great idea, if you’re up to it.
Just know that it will be a bit difficult at the beginning, and you may even be tempted to go back to make the pain go away, but stay strong, and keep moving forward. Be gentle with yourself, and make sure you do positive affirmations and self care to help undo some of the effects of being in a rough relationship too!
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Hey @SageTheSpirit,
You did something really brave by leaving a toxic relationship. Not only it takes time and a good amount of awareness to realize that the person we share our life with could be impacting us negatively, but also making the decision of ending the relationship takes a lot of courage. I commend you for your strength and for asserting your right to live a life away from any toxicity.
Unfortunately, there’s not a unique way to process the emotions it causes to you. Even despite the toxicity, you are and will be grieving a relationship, something and someone that has been a major component of your life for four years. It’s not nothing. Beind devastated is, as you know already, part of processing what happened. Just know that there isn’t going to be a good or a bad way to process, or even a timeling for that. When you will feel like your heart will be more at peace with it, then it will be your time. In the meantime, I’d encourage you to try to remain open to your own emotions and to “welcome” them without any judgment. They’re here for a reason, and you are not going to feel with the same intensity forever. On the other hand, make sure to treat yourself well. To take it slowly. To be kind to yourself. You are not expected to function the way you would if none of this happened.
I see that you intend to go to therapy, and that’s amazing. It’s definitely going to help you to process these emotions as well, as interacting with a therapist will help you to name them. You can also try to practice this when you don’t feel too overwhelmed by journaling them. Sharing your thoughts. Naming your emotions. Describing how it feels in your body. It will help you to take some distance, observing yourself without any judgment and, as a result, process what’s going on in your heart.
Once again: well done for this decision. You’ve made a beautiful step for you today. I imagine that it could be hard to feel like celebrating this and give a bittersweet taste as a result for now. Know that we are proud of you here. There will be a time in the future when you will feel like all the pieces are, finally, fitting together.
You’re loved so much. 
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Thank you so much for your kind words, it truly means a lot to me.
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