Tired of trying I give up nothing I ever do seems to help matters I can’t get out of this rut that I’m in feel like I’d be better off dead wouldn’t be tired or in pain anymore I’m mentally and physically exhausted don’t know how much more I can take
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I’m sorry it’s been so rough for you. You remind me both of myself and my dad. I’m pretty sure depression was in our DNA. Depression and anxiety is so common because humans have not evolved in a way that’s compatible with the pressures of modern life.
To be mentally and physically exhausted, also in a state of despair, does have one offering, which is to realize that the only direction to go from that state is towards things getting better. When in despair, a person can relinquish all expectations, and consider viewing life from a different perspective. If you expect sun, and it rains, the unmet expectation can lead to frustration. If you had no expectation, and it rained, you are more likely to take it as it comes, without connecting negative emotions to it.
When you are completely down and in despair, your frames of reference tend to become meaningless. Being in such a state is an unpleasant yet often effective way of opening the mind to new possibilities. It’s an opportunity to view the world and your place in it differently.
Many incredibly successful people have been in the same place as you and I have. They came to realize that giving up on everything, allowed them the freedom to reinvent themselves.
Feeling emotionally drained programs the body to feel depleted of resources as well. The thought of coming back from that state of being can be overwhelming. The thought of trying and failing again can be debilitating. At the same time, every failing teaches, and a necessary step towards success has been accomplished.
It does take heroic effort to emerge from such a negative emotional state, but to have come this far, makes you a hero, therefore, you can pull it off. I think one of the easiest ways to regain emotional footing, is to remain focused on the present moment, and consider the choices available to you in that moment. Humans tend to think the same thoughts, and react in the same ways, day in and day out. That’s why it’s so easy to fall into a rut. Therefore, it’s helpful to change your routine, managing your day differently, perhaps rearranging your schedule, or engaging in an activity that you’ve never done before.
I hope some of these thoughts help. It took courage on your part to share such thoughts. Please stick around and keep us informed on how you’re doing.
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Hey @Dani,
You are allowed to rest, especially when you feel mentally and physically exhausted. That alone is enough to bring up its share of despair. It gets hard to think about ways to get better, to try anything, even to take care of ourselves. It is okay if, for now, the only thing you can do is simply being, without any particular expectation. Our ability to build hope and to move forward is also the result of how we feel at the moment. Right now, it is too much for you, but that doesn’t mean your are failing or that it would be impossible to find some clarity again.
There are times when the pressure of life forces us to slow down and focus on the minimum. So, take it easy and make sure to stay safe, away from any mean to hurt yourself, and to reach out to crisis services too. It is an unpleasant wave to ride, but you have the complete ability to do so. And you’re not doing that alone. We’re in this with you. 
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, thank you for posting, I am so sorry that things are such a struggle right now, living with depression and an anxiety disorder is exhausting to say the least and can cause all kinds of physical symptoms, restlessness and tiredness being just 2 of a long list so it’s understandable that you feel stuck. You don’t mention if you see anyone that you talk to about how you feel? It may be an idea to do some talk therapy, if you were to get some of the thoughts out, even here in a post maybe it could quieten your mind a bit and allow you to rest more. You really are not better off dead you know; your life is precious; you are precious and valuable. I would love to hear that you have spoken to a therapist and that life has gotten better for you because it can, and I know that because I was once where you are now and although we are two different people with different stories, I just want you know that there are ways out that don’t involve your life ending. I wish you well Friend. Much Love Lisa. x
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From: eloquentpetrichor
Hello, Dani! Thank you for coming and sharing that with us.
I hope you are feeling a little better. If not please let yourself rest and just exist for a few days. Hopefully that will help. I know your struggle won’t be solved with a bit of rest but maybe it’ll help you get through this moment. And that’s all that really needs to happen. Just let yourself get through this moment so that you can move on to the next one. You matter and what you do matters even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
Keep going for the next moment and just keep swimming
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From: SuchBlue
Hi Dani,
Unfortunately this has become the way of life for a lot of people, you are not alone. Everyone seems super happy but you don’t really know what others are actually going through in their lives, there is always something behind that smile. The best way to get around life is definitely not to end it. We all have ups and downs in our lives, but I’m sure that we can all get around them.
Stay strong, you matter ~SuchBlue
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From: ManekiNeko
hey Dani, just checking in how you’re going. I truely hope you have found some peace from this turmoil and have found some rest. You deserve to be happy and live life free from this exhaustion that’s been plaguing you
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