I have been in and out of mental health facilities most of my life, 4 times within the past 8 years. I went to a place that I thought would be helpful in January but they were terrible and sent me a bill and never checked up on me. I deal with anxiety, depression, bipolar and PTSD. I found you on Youtube abd your videos are…wow! Thank you. I comment under the name powerpromotionsjax. I just recently was discharged from a WONDERFUL hospital that treated us SO good and the group therapy sessions were AMAZING. They even called to check on me the next day and told me that if I ever needed to come back to come back there. I saw that they had Intensive Outpatient treatment so when they called to check on me, I asked about it. I told them I didnt have a car and they said that they would provide transportation. I currently go to individual therapy twice a week through a virtual platform and Im trying SO HARD to get into my trauma counseling but I always get stuck where I believe it all started. I love your videos and I really appreciate the fact that you have a forum for us. If you want to respond you can, but I love your Youtube videos. I don’t know if you have ever heard Outlaw Torn by Metallica but I would love to see you do that. Thanks for listening. ~ Liana (aka powerpromotionskax)
Hey @LianaRose!
I’m so so glad that you were able to find a place that was so caring and welcoming! It’s hard finding places like that, and I’ve had places that have been like the place in January. It’s an absolutely horrible feeling, but I found a care team also that truly cares and have been amazing.
The YouTube videos are somethin else, aren’t they?? Having that platform that not only lets people like yourself give you a forum to share your thoughts and feelings but also us getting to give that support truly makes me incredibly happy. A lot of work goes on behind the scenes to make all that happen and they’re EXTREMELY passionate about helping others.
Outlaw Torn is an excellent song choice too! I can definitely take that feedback as well too.
Keep being amazing, and please keep us updated on your progress as well <3
Hi @LianaRose ! So great that you found us and appreciate all the videos, it’s great to have you here!
Having gone through multiple therapies and having told and retold my traumas over and over to a different doctor each and every time I can understand the exhaustion that might come out of your experiences with hospitals. Having done that through FOUR years of Covid with all the challenges it has brought in is such a huge thing too and I am so proud of you for sticking through all of it!
So happy to have you here and that you found us and found the courage to post as none of that should be taken for granted. I encourage you to keep us in mind whenever you’re feeling low and need a friend as doing all of it on your own is so much harder.
I know I had many “blind spots”, simply forgotten memories or pushed back memories that I cannot deal with on a regular basis. What I learned during my years with therapy is that those memories are locked in for a reason as they’re too painful to get to yet. I was also recommended therapy types (such as art or music) that aren’t related to words or remembering specific eventts as a useful way to either trigger the memories to process them or as a way to heal myself without re-traumatizing myself with those memories.
There are so many options out there that can help you on your path to recovery and better mental health management! We’re so proud of you for being here with us and so happy that you’ve found yourself a hospital setting that you’re happy with right now!
Keep sharing with us and being awesome!
Hi @LianaRose
Welcome to HeartSupport and thanks for opening up here!
Amazing you found a place after other places that didn’t do as well that was able to give you the right care for you. Keep sharing your experiences here. Glad you found the heartsupport page on YouTube that you were amazed by.
Again, if you need to talk about anything else feel free
Hey Friend!
Welcome to the Heartsupport family! I’m super happy you’re here and I’m thankful that you shared your story. There’s a lot of us here that can intimently relate to your experience. With that, we want you to know that you’re not alone.
I’m extremely proud of you for taking steps in your life to make sure that you have the help that you need and that these steps have brought you to an organization that does seem to care about you and are there to even give you a ride when you need the help.
I’m reminded of an important aspect to this kind of journey and that is that you can’t do this on your own. The fact that you’ve been working with people to work through your trauam, to be able to make a break through at where it all started is both commendable and a testimate to your own personal strength. It’s extremely hard to work through those things even with a professional and the fact that you have kept at it is amazing.
It’s things like this that when you are able to make a break through and work through the trauma, you will be able to look back on these moments with pride and know that you did it… that you did what it took to live a better, more fulfilled life.
I’m also happy that you’ve conencted with the Heartsupport youtube channel. Those videos that @taylor records are incredible and I love that she ties in her experience as a therapist and how it applies to the message behind the music we listen to.
I want to encourage you to keep posting here. To keep sharing your story and even provide us updates if you’re okay with that. There’s a lot of people on this forum that have either gone through these things, or people who are about to or are going through these things that are scared, unsure, or even traumatized form this experience in general.
Your strength is inspiring, friend. Keep up the good work and keep focusing on your inner peace. We’re here for you and I believe in you.
Hold Fast!
Welcome, LianaRose, and thank you for taking the time to trust us with your experiences! And I know that the HeartSupport staff appreciates that you are able to find value in their content. I don’t know their process of choosing which songs for Taylor to react to, but I can see about passing along your suggestion.
First off, I want to recognize that you are doing so amazing. You are able to recognize when you need professional help, and you are able to find an excellent service to meet those needs. They make sure you are doing well once you are settled at home, and they are able to help you continue receiving their services.
I also think it’s amazing that you are able to utilize regular therapy. From what I know about trauma, it is difficult to share those things. It might just take time to be able to share what it was that started it all. Until then, you can continue sharing what you are able to. You don’t have to rush getting all your trauma out at once. I believe that it will come when the time is right and you are ready to handle it.
Hold Fast. We Believe in You.
Hello @LianaRose!
Thank you for writing us and I am grateful that you found heartsupport online through the YouTube channel. Welcome to our big family! I appreciate you opening up to us about your struggles with PTSD, bipolar, depression and anxiety. Those are things that are extremely challenging to deal and I’m so proud that you were able to find a place that was able to help you so much in that regard. I completely understand as well that it can be hard to always fall back into those same patterns of thought and that you aren’t going anywhere. However, I am glad you’re aware of where you are and that you know we are available to help along the way in your journey. One thing that helped me reframe (even though I still struggle) that perspective of not getting anywhere is what my therapist called “zooming out”. Often times we judge ourselves so much in the moment that we get lost in how much actual progress we have made over a longer period of time. It is important to understand that progress is bumpy and not smooth sailing always. It goes up and down, left and right, and every direction in between. However, if we take into account where we were before to where we are now, we can see bigger picture that helps us reframe how we feel. It is challenging work to do, however it is possible to change. One step at a time and slow and steady wins the race.
I am glad you found a positive outlet for you and your needs here and on our channel. If there’s anything more we can do, just let us know here. We are here for you always. I think the biggest thing I have learned in my own journey struggling with depression and anxiety is that going through it alone is really hard. It’s important to be around others who love you and care about you. I know I couldn’t be here today without other people around helping me along the way. If it all possible, I hope you can find that group of people in your life and be open with them. I know it can be really hard, but the enjoyment I get from my friend group now is so much better because I opened up with them.
You are already taking the right steps to get to a place where you feel safe and welcomed!! That is a huge thing that can serve you well going forward. If there is anything else you need from us here, just reach out! We are here for you! Take care of yourself today and I hope to hear from you soon.
Much love,
Splash
Hi @LianaRose, welcome to the family and thanks so much for posting. Reading your post I can say I relate very well with what you’re saying, as someone who’s dealing with very similar issues in anxiety, depression, and PTSD, as well as often having stretches of multiple visits to a psychiatric facility. I also have seen some good ones and some bad ones. But I have to point out the bravery it takes to stay on top of your mental health in that way, awesome!!
I’m excited for you that you have found some good resources for ongoing care it seems. The outpatient program as well as the virtual therapy, that’s great. Trauma counseling can be a rough one, anytime you have to face those things that scarred us it’s going to be struggle but I believe in you, if you set your mind to it and keep fighting you got this.
Outlaw Torn is a great song, I found HeartSupport through the YouTube channel as well. I encourage you to keep doing all your doing and hope to see you talking with us again, we’re here if you need us. Thanks again and hope you have an awesome day!!
Y’all. My heart. Thank you so much for your love and support. Who knew surfing Youtube would help me find the help that I needed. And yes, Outlaw Torn is basically my anthem. I listen to it quite often. I like the symphony version the best.
Anytime! We are here for you always! The internet can truly be a wonderful place to connect when it serves a purpose such as ours! Glad you found us here and we wish you nothing but the best in the next steps on your journey!
You’re welcome! We’re all really happy to have you here. 
Feel free to pop in to share how you’re doing or reaching out here for more support along your mental health journey!
Ive had my ups and down since I got out of the mental hospital but I just had a really good three day weekend with my wife. Im not journaling EVERY DAY but we did start back to chair yoga and meditation today. Things are going well with my therapist. I see her twice a week. Im not sure Im ready to get back into my trauma counseling just yet.
I have had 3 hospital visits and i cried and read your story. You are so strong. You inspire me. I have been having a really hard week. I never want to go back to those dark places in my life. I also want to be healthy and sometimes they are a place that really can help people. It sucks but sometimes it is not a good experience. You have to keep trying. I am amostly talking to myself.
I appreciate everyones comments. I am thankful for this community. It can be relaly hard to talk about hard topics.
I want to get healthier and be able to help people. I dont know the words to say.
Thank you be being there and helping. We can help each other. It might not be easy.