So, it’s been a while since my last post. But, I’m still here. Things haven’t been the best recently, and I will explain why. So, as you know, I was in a relationship for almost 4 years, but was cheated on. I’m still absolutely heartbroken by this as we were supposed to get married, but in a way I’m thankful that he showed his true colours before we were married. But that doesn’t hide the fact that I am heartbroken. I still cry most nights, wondering what I did to deserve this kind of pain.
I am taking my medications again, which does help, but I feel so heavy and burned out most days, I literally feel as I’m part of the walking dead. I’m not suicidal or anything, but I really wish things would look up for me. I mean, I am thankful for all the support I’ve been getting since the breakup, but I just…I don’t have the right words. I just want a relationship that makes me feel good, respected, and honestly, just loved. I thought I felt that in this previous one but truly, I don’t think I was ever loved by him. I think I was just used.
Also, he did some pretty fucked up things while we were in the relationship, and I was just too blind to see it. By the end, I did start seeing it but by then it was already done. At this point in time, I’m still wearing the ring that he gave me, as I don’t have the heart nor the spoons to throw it away quite yet. But man, my head has been quite a whirlwind of emotions these last few weeks and I am just absolutely fed up with it.
four years is a long time, and you had a life planned out. That’s a big hard change of plans there, but I’m glad you saw his truths before the marriage took place.
You did absolutely nothing to “deserve” or “cause” him to cheat… That’s all on him! You don’t deserve the pain.
I always say the end of serious relationships like this is a lot like processing a death, except with the added twist that the person is still walking around and existing.
There isn’t a timeline for grief, or for loss. Go through your process, feel what you have to feel, but also know that you have a world of value and worth just by being you, and nothing changes or diminishes that. We’re here for you, and I’m glad to be able to show you some support today, and I genuinely thank you for always being here, making sure I’m seen.
I see you too, friend, and I hope that we can help you through this.
I definitely appreciate your kind words! I normally keep things bottled up, and I know that’s unhealthy, but I decided to make a post and reach out to the community that has helped me so much!
I can definitely relate to having some trust difficulties, but yeah, I am active here mostly all the time and definitely love to help others have a voice for themselves!
It’s been a while that you have posted, but I wanted to check in with you today. How are you, friend?
I hear you and the fact that you are still in the middle of this grieving process. It will take time, as you know. Until then, it’s good to know that you still feel safe enough to reach out here. You definitely have a family right here, whenever you need shoulders to lean on.
You deserve to live with someone who will cherish your existence each and every day. Who will respect you, your time, your heart. This transition in your life is a painful one, yet still one that holds the possibility for something better in the future. Take your time. Try to be as patient with yourself as possible.
I am doing alright, as best as I can at this moment in time! My mental health is relatively stable, I have my moments but don’t we all? Thank you for checking in
