Just venting about my feelings (trigger warning)

I have a way out, finally. I’ve been constantly thinking about it. My buddy is holding onto a shotgun for me and it’s been on my mind for the passed two weeks. I have so many reasons to die and they’re absolutely worth it. My life doesn’t mean anything and no one will miss me. I will be able to hurt who I want to hurt by committing suicide. I’ve tried to see if I have any reason to live and I have none. I am not interested in living a full life, especially with people who don’t care and are fake. I’m nervous but I know it will be worth it in the end.

@Reijak

Hey friend, you matter. And that’s not something I’m trying to say just to cheer you up. It is a truth. And it is still true despite the circumstances in your life, the pain you’ve been carrying for so long or what you think about yourself.

Nothing is written already. Nothing. Death can be very tempting when we’re hurting and when we don’t see the point of going on. But it’s an illusion. It’s not a solution. You’ve been here regularly, on the Support Wall. And I see you. I see someone who’s struggling but trying their best to push through. I see someone who wants to live but also wants the pain to go away. And you have all the reasons to want that. You have all the rights to live a fulfilling life.

We care about you here. This is not fake. It is very real. Because your life is very real.

Please, keep reaching out to people around you. But put aside your plan. You said you have many reasons to die, then I encourage you to talk about it. Let those thing out of your chest. Let people who care be a safety net for you. You are not alone.

:hrtlegolove:

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Thank you for the response. I would be more open but I’m tired of getting told that what I’m going through isn’t a big deal, everything I’m feeling is just in my head, and I’m being selfish.

I’m sorry but I’m not planning on putting aside anything. I just really want to die

hey friend…, I committed suicide 4 times but I failed all of them. I was so mad i was that desperate to die.

nobody wanted me they were disgusted by me. But I’m still here waiting for what’s to come. From what I learned in my journey still learning is that waiting is sometimes the key for situation. You might not think that but believe me.

I’m here if you need someone to talk too.

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