@Kitboga At a turning point

I’ve grown up in a small town and went to college in an even smaller town; I ended up dropping out because of covid for about 2 years and now I’m about to go back to university, but in a huge city with a big school, because that’s where my girlfriend is (about 6 hours from my hometown).

I almost put this under progress because I do feel like this is a good thing for me. Everyone I graduated high school with who moved far away says it was one of the best decisions they’ve made, and I can tell. And I’m very excited to finish my degree and excited to start a life with my girlfriend.

The only thing is, I’m absolutely terrified. Not only because I’m a very shy person about to be in a big city, but I’m afraid to fail too. I don’t want to repeat the awful feeling of being stuck and lost in my hometown, and I dont want to disappoint all of the people who have high hopes in me. It’s like I’m afraid to move on with my life but I don’t want it to stay the same. I feel like everything about my life is about to change so drastically and the thought of it all is so overwhelming. My whole future is on the line with this.

I only found you very recently, through your stream with CallMeKevin, and I really appreciate you and your videos and how much you seem to genuinely care. And even if you dont get to mine, thank you for this! It also just felt good to type out. Thanks kit :slight_smile:

6 Likes

Hello, egr1429! Welcome to the forum!

It sounds like you are definitely making good strides in your life and that’s wonderful! I recently moved to a big city from a small town as well and it is definitely scary. But you have your girlfriend who will hopefully make things better just with her presence. And I will say that when you feel stuck in your town that is definitely when it is time to leave so I am proud of you for being brave enough to take that step. Even though I don’t know you, this stranger is proud of you. It can be very overwhelming so don’t try to do too much at once. Take things slow.

Some things I’ve learned about a big city. It’s virtually impossible to fail if you keep an open mind. I know you are going there for school but there are so many extra job opportunities that you cannot find in small towns that cater well to full-time uni kids. And lots of app/gig opportunities as well. Plenty of ways for even shy people to make friends. And if things do get overwhelming another great thing about a big city is there tends to be more opportunities to find therapists and counselors (even free clinics if in the US) to help you navigate your new life if you end up feeling like you need some extra help. I have faith that you will do amazing in this big city and I hope you find happiness there.

Good luck out there, friend, and know that we will always be here if you want to share again or ever need some support :hrtlegolove:

3 Likes

That is phenomenal that you are going back to further your education!
I remember feeling the same way when I had moved from a small Florida town to Colorado. It was very scary, I knew 2 people when I had first moved there. I left everyone behind. And for me, it was the best move ever! ( Even if I got lost driving the first few months more times than I’d like to admit since it was before smart phones and GPS :joy:)
Fear of failure is something that holds back a lot of people from making a huge decision. If I could offer a little tidbit of how I personally see it, the only true failure is not trying. Hometown will always be there, and at anytime, you can call, visit, or even facetime. But the chance to further your future this way doesn’t come along every day. You have a great opportunity, which is from your hard work and dedication. You deserve this chance.
Good luck hun!

2 Likes

Hey @egr1429,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share about such an important transition in your life.

Life changes like these are absolutely terrifying at first, especially because we have yet to see how it’s going to be. As long as we don’t have a practical experience of it yet, we can imagine in many ways how it could be - and oftentimes we imagine what we fear the most too.

It really makes sense to feel how you feel. The fears that you have are manifestating how much graduating, living with your girlfriend and just reaching your goals in life matters to you. As long as you perceive your fears as they are - a projection, not the reflection of reality - then it can actually be a powerful motivator in order to just try as you can and give yourself a chance. The worst would be to let those fears paralyze you to the point of sabotaging yourself. As long as you try, you can’t fail. You can whether succeed by reaching your goals, or learn from the experiences you have. In both cases, you progress.

In all honesty, when it’s about learning to open our own wings and build solid foundations for our life, we all start with not really knowing what we do. When I was a student, I had to learn so many things by myself. It felt sometimes really messy, but in the long run it was just the premisces of handling a bunch of responsibilities that I’d rather shy away from before. Ultimately, it it the life experiences that we have that allow us to learn and progress. I was also like you, living in the second biggest city of my country (and oh dear, I came from being the archetype of a country girl D:). I knew no one there while being super shy/anxious and introverted. I didn’t succeed in building long-term friendships, but I did have the opportunity to meet new people and share life together for the time being. It’s actually comforting when you start connecting with a few students and realize that we are, at that time of our life, all on the same boat. University gives a lot of opportunities to meet new people, whether it’s through your classes or side activities.

It’s okay to be scared. Keep in mind though that is only of life happening. Once you’ll get in your new place and university, you will have A LOT to discover. You will build new habits. You will become familiar with the different places you’ll go. It feels at first like jumping into the unknown, @egr1429. But what you are going to do, the projects that you have, are absolutely AMAZING. And you won’t be alone friend. Rest assured that this community will keep encouraging you as long as you allow us to.

You will be okay, friend. :hrtlegolove:

1 Like

This topic was automatically closed after 365 days. New replies are no longer allowed.