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Lack of self love or subjective thinking?

An interesting little something happened today, just writing about it to sort it out.

So recently my handphone cover spoilt , the back part of it is just hanging on by a piece of rubber lol. I mean normally I would use my phone without worries.

My girlfriend told me to buy a new one, but I sorta showed a refusal to do it, stating its expensive (Not really) and how my phone cover is technically still usable and it would be a waste of money.

She nagged at me to buy a new one or she’s gonna buy one for me, I don’t want her to spend unnecessarily, what’s more I know what I want. She gave me 2 weeks to buy my own.

Anyway, it led down the discussion that I don’t love myself enough. That I needed to love myself before I loved others. Maybe it’s true.

I’m just thinking back to how in the past I always told people I don’t have wants, I don’t really want anything. That’s a whole other can of worms.

I think somewhere along the way I mixed my wants with my needs, or maybe it’s a difference in opinions, everyone has different needs and wants but somehow I reduced my needs to very little.

I had many incidents in my life where I use things that are very close to breaking without preparing a spare cause I want to save money.

Am I crazy? Or is it perhaps a sign of lack of self love, it’s not like I’m financially strapped or anything. I just feel extremely uncomfortable throwing away things that can still be used and buying new ones.

I’m still keeping a bag which zipper broke thinking I can fix it. Shoes with holes in it and broken soles. My laptop is being held together by those big paper clips cuz the plastic broke.

I’m so curious right now what could be the cause of my strange behaviour right now. Maybe I’m a natural hoarder😁

4 Likes

From: I Am Reclaimer

Hey Friend, Your post reminded me of this story - maybe you can find some value in it?Not Buying Anything: Fisher Man Rich Man

1 Like

From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Just, Sometimes we want to use something till it totally doesn’t work anymore. Sometimes we want to keep it because we just don’t want to the spend money. Sometimes we don’t replace it because we have a lack of self care or it’s just not a priority to us. I don’t think it has anything to do with self love, but perhaps your conversation evolved into self love with different examples. We need to have compassion for ourselves and that leads into self care and self love. I think you can love someone while not loving yourself. I’m proof of that. ~Mystrose

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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi Just I think it really depends how you feel. The way you feel may come from many different places but the important thing is how you feel about it. Do you thing this is a problem. Maybe you just like to save money. maybe you are just being practical. look into yourself and try to answer the why behind your actions. What you do it really normal but it might be bad if it comes from a bad place. If it doesnt however it is totally ok to act the way you do. Some people like new things, some like to hold on to old ones until they are no longer useful. Its just the way it is.

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Friend, thank you for your post, your story reminds me of how my grandmother was, she would always get everything out of every product and that is not a bad thing at all, we live in a throw away society these days so it just seems different now that someone is like that, years ago you would have been the norm. I really do not think its a sign of lack of self love unless you genuinely feel that you dont care for yourself very much, I think you are just careful with cash and thats ok. You mention your “can of worms” and not wanting things and maybe thats another subject and something you may want to mention in another post if of course you want to, maybe that will explain more about how you feel. I will say that I don’t think you are crazy friend, I think you are doing ok but you could treat yourself to a new phone cover, it protects an expensive product, might save some money in the long run. Much Love lisa x

2 Likes

Hey Just - I don’t think it’s weird or wrong to use things until they just don’t work at all anymore. As others have said, that is the way of things until just last few years. We have become a throw away society when it comes to things. In our home, we’ll keep fixing things until you can’t fix it anymore. My grandmother used the word frugal to describe this. I don’t think it reflects a lack of self love, but it sounds like there may be more to what is going on in your relationship with your girlfriend?

When I think of self love - I ask “how do I see myself?” Am I worth loving? What does that look like to me? What makes me feel loved? And - will I take the time and effort to care and love myself?

I can then ask those same questions about how I feel about those closest to me in my life. How do I see them and what does loving them look like? It also helps to ask those I love what makes them feel loved.

One thing I truly believe is that we are all worthy of love and care - know that you are loved, worthy of love and we’re glad you came in and talked with us.