Layne was right i got clean for 7 years and itbwas

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Layne was right. I got clean for 7 years and itbwas lkke livingnin black and white. I couldnt feel like a human no matter how hard i tried, and that was whwn it was simply heroin. I relapsed because i just wantes to feel real again, but now its fetynal and xylozine and theres no escape. Im to scared ro ro kill myself, but i wish everyday that i wont wake up

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I just want to start by saying thank you for showing yourself love by choosing to reach out and comment. I want to commend you also for the courage and strength that was needed to get yourself clean and to keep it up for 7 years despite felling like you’re living in a black & white world. Relapses happen, but I am reading your comment as if the part of you that is trapped within the shell of addiction wants you to continue reaching out and making those small steps to continue on the path of getting better. Addiction is a daily battle, something my family and I struggle with everyday. Whether I want to use or push through and face life head on. I have found in my own battle that it’s the mundane middle ground between the highs and lows of life where life is truly lived, its tough especially knowing exactly what the highs can feel like. I am grateful that you are still here and had the courage to reach out despite wishing that you wouldn’t wake up. Thank you for taking this step in advocating for yourself.

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