For the past three weeks I’ve been without power at my house. I’ve been feeling depressed really bad that I cried 8 times in program and I’m still crying today since yesterday. This month has been the worse so far because it just reminds me of my mom due to her passing of cancer on March 11, 2017. People keep telling me it gets easier over time but for me every year gets harder to live on. My dad hasn’t been much help at all and makes me do all the chores around the house making me super stressed out. Even though I tried telling me how I feel about it he didn’t really help me through it and continued to make me do everything.
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Hey Ricky. Loss is hard and the cliche bullshit can feel annoying. I get that.
I am a firm believer things get better, but not on their own. Things never magically get better, it takes time, patience, and hard work.
Your Dad may not be able to help since he is likely dealing with the loss himself. Do you have access to anyone else who can help you through this? Maybe in time your Dad will come around or maybe as you heal, he will begin healing.
Chores… I remember those. I do all the chores around my place too! It’s part of having my own place though, lol.
From: Who.is
I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Losing family can be an unfashionable weight. When you have lost a parent and the one who is there isn’t really there it makes it incredibly hard. If you’re still dependant on them then it can be a lot. Somehow you become who they are meant to be in many ways. There to look after them and try to clean up their lives for them. It’s not how it’s meant to be is it?
maybe your dad hasn’t processed his grief or isn’t sure how to cope with it. Do you have other family who support you? I hope you are able to celebrate your mother’s life and hold her memory close to you
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From: Mystrose
Hi Friend, I’m so sorry you’re power has been out for so long. Can you get help from 211 or call the power company to talk about your options? I hope you can get that worked out soon. It’s got to be so stressful not to have power and for it to be the anniversary of your mother passing, I just want to give you a great big hug. You are loved ~Mystrose
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Hello there,
One thing about grief, it comes in waves and it hits everyone differently. You may experience the same moment in time as someone else does, but you will process things differently than the other person does. Be patient with yourself. Let yourself feel those feelings, because they are all valid.
I am so proud of you for continuing to come here for encouragement and support.
You are amazing. You are strong. You are valid. You are enough.
-StarFox 
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From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hey Ricky, Thanks for posting, I am so sorry that all this is going on at your place again. Firstly please contact your power company, whatever the reason you have had no power (unless its a some sort of mass crisis that is effecting the whole of your community) no one should be left without any power for that long esp if they have medical conditions. Secondly Ricky, the loss of your Mum is one of the hardest things you have ever and will ever go through in your life and sadly of course you miss her all the time but this time of year and special occaions are always going to be the hardest, it doesnt matter how long its been, allow yourself to feel anyway you want, just because some one tells you it should get better doesnt mean you shouldnt feel anything that just means that your life alters and it becomes easier to live your everyday being used to them not around it doesnt mean that you dont miss them like crazy and your heart doesnt break on these occasions. Lasty Ricky for your own sake please put your foot down with your dad, if he is capable to do something for himself it is better for him both physically and mentally to do it himself and gives you a break. you are such a kind person. Much Love Lisa x
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From: twixremix
hi ricky,
thank you for sharing what you’re enduring. going without any power in the house for three whole weeks is frustrating and scary all on its own but also adding everything else you’re shouldering? it’s understandable how you feel stressed out and depressed. your feelings are so valid and i hope with everything that i got that the power is returned to y’all’s house.
in regards to still feeling the grief from your mom’s passing, please know that grief has no timeline. for some, it may get easier within a year. for some, it takes a decade. for others, the grief follows them for longer. allow yourself to feel everything, give yourself the permission to cry when you need to, and embrace the stages of grief in order to take your steps forward in processing this pain. i received the advice in that previous sentence i just wrote from someone within this community following my grandpa’s passing. giving myself that permission to feel instead of suffocate my emotions helped even a slight bit. sending you comfort and love always, my friend.
love,
twix
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