I´m home foer the weekend after being the week in the ward and like i´m going back there. its ok there.
yesterday evening i broke down and told some stuff about home cause i was so in my head and now they are talking about family help. i´m so scared about whats gonna happen cause i fucked up so bad.
my family just fought the whole day i was here. i want to get better but i cant if it stays like this.
im done with this life. its not a live its something i dont wnt to experience. sorry but noo
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I’m not sure what you mean by “so in my head,” but I think it means that you’re having a hard time resolving issues. So your therapist wants to talk to your family? They must believe that problems within the family are causing you to have more difficulty with your problems. My parents fought almost constantly too. That dysfunctional dynamic has nothing to do with you.
I hope you can find a way to minimize difficulties with your parents or family. The circumstances you are in will change, and you will have control over who you choose to have in your life. Sometimes, just knowing that you can put some distance between you and your dysfunctional family, is enough to enable you to be more tolerant of them.
I don’t know how you fucked up, but knowing you did so means that you have learned something valuable. That acquired wisdom means that you are far less likely to mess up in the same way again.
Hang in there! Life inevitably changes. Stick around, so you don’t miss out on the good stuff.
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Hey @notbritish.grey ,
Glad to hear it’s okay there! First week can be tough and it takes some time to adjust, but you’re handling this like a champion.
You didn’t mess up because you talked about what’s going on at home. It’s not your fault. It’s totally normal to be focused on that and to feel the need to talk about it. I hear and understand your fear of the consequences, but really, you didn’t do anything wrong. As you said, there’s a need for a change at home. For you to be helped individually, but also certainly for your family to receive the support they need as well. The environment we’re living in impacts a lot our mental health and it makes sense to be preoccupied by what’s going on there.
Whether you talked about it impulsively or not, it takes a lot of strength to do so. You’re not at fault for talking, for expressing yourself. The problem is the situation, not you. Your voice is important through all of this. You deserve to be able to talk without being afraid to do so.
Please be safe, friend. Take care of yourself. I know it’s probably very stressful to be in this position right now and it certainly feels like it’s out of your control. But you did a good thing by sharing your heart and what’s going on. People at the ward are there to help you, and for that they need to understand where you come from, what’s the environment in which you and your siblings are growing. By knowing this, they’ll be more able to help you as you need, and not partially.
You’ll be okay. We’re in this with you, friend. I’m rooting for you. 
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