Sometimes I’m like, “Yes, i can do this.”
Then sometimes I’m like, "no. Nevermind. "
Why does happiness feel like a battle for me?
Anyway, just venting.
-Eyeless
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Hey @EyelessDoll, I’m glad you shared that! It feels like learning to trust people is an unrelenting uphill battle against myself, so it’s comforting to know that it’s not just me. Sometimes I need somebody else to tell them about themselves for me to see something in myself.
This makes me think about how progress doesn’t usually come in straight lines. Maybe when I go back and forth I’m not succeeding and failing, but very slowly chipping away at my walls while I can manage it. But it’s friggin scary and painful so I can only chip away at it for a bit before I need to rest and I definitely can’t just slam my head through it. Looking back a few years, that has to be at least a little bit true. I’ve come so far over time without really noticing, because I’ve been busy blaming myself for not doing enough the whole time. But really, little by little is the way to go.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this 
I think you’re probably doing better than you’re giving yourself credit for. It’s hard, and you’re trying! I don’t know if it’ll ever get easier but every time you choose to keep trying you’re getting better at it
Sending love <3
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