I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. And I don’t even want to talk to anyone about it.
You’re not the only one. I had a great support system for about 6 months, but then I spent the next year feeling alone and abandoned, and like no one wanted to listen. It took time for me to find real friends after that. Sometimes you just need different people in your life. There are still things from my past that I don’t talk about and that no one knows about, but even when I feel alone, I know that it won’t last forever. I’ve seen things change; don’t give up on yourself or other people yet.
HEY! I really appreciate that you were able to text in for help! That is such a powerful step and one that I was unable to take for like a year and a half. You are so brave and so good and so strong! I understand the feeling and hope you know that you are truly not alone in this. Things do get better and things do get worse. Life can hurt but it’s all worth living for. I used to lay in bed for days listening to Levi The Poet’s poem called: “It’s all worth Living For.” It reminded me that even when people suck and it seems like there’s no one around for you, there is someone out there who makes life worth living. I hope that you encounter someone who will support you and be there for you not because you feel alone or because you tell people about it, but because you are freaking incredible and deserve a beautiful life. (But I also really hope that you can continue to have the courage to seek out safe people and safe opportunities to share your struggles, I know everyone’s journey is different, but healing didn’t start for me until I wept in front of an old friend and started to share my hurt.) don’t sink. You are not alone. Keep going. I can’t understand your pain, but I want to. I want to be able to empathize and support you from a place of total understanding, but all I have is this. You are brave, you are worth the fight. You are worth talking to and listening to. I’ll pray for you, I don’t know if that’s your thing, but I hope you don’t mind.