I haven’t wrote on here since my depression was pretty bad that was over a year ago, I went from my first time cutting to almost cutting every single day. I stopped cutting considering my family found out. I been clean for awhile now and my scars have mostly all disappeared. I graduated high school and all that stuff but I’m back here. I keep asking myself why am I back on here. I keep thinking of just stabbing myself in the arm repeatedly over and over again but I don’t know why.
4 Likes
Hi there, nice to meet you!
First of all, so much to congratulate you on - for graduating, for going so long without any SH! Thats a great accomplishment.
Has anything changed recently that is making you feel lost or powerless?
Did you use any sort of coping or distraction tricks in the past when the urge was strong?
I’m glad you came back when you need the extra support.
Take it one moment at a time.
Have you tried any of these: Get outside, do some breathing exercises, grounding exercises?
Wishing you well friend. It can get better - you were already there.
Life can get hard sometimes and make us fall back into our old “coping” habits, but there are better ways to exert control and power over our lives.
1 Like
Hi Lillian,
Why did you stop before?
What kept you from doing it long enough for your scars to heal?
What did you learn about yourself during that time?
1 Like
Hey, I stopped cutting, cause I didn’t want to see the look on my mom face again, she was upset and I tried and tried, after that I day I decided I would never cut so deep to where it would leave a scar only just enough for me to feel something. Another reason was because I wanted to go to the navy and knew with my scars that I wouldn’t be able to, but now it hard for not to think about while I’m watching tv or hanging out with friends it’s just always there in the back of my mind.
1 Like
Thank u, I’m trying but it’s just hard and I’m scared I’m gonna slip up and repeat myself again, thank u
so when you had those two goals on your mind, your mom and the navy, and that provided the motivation to resist the urge?
That’s interesting.
Do you have any goals like that now, or something you want to accomplish, a place to visit, something like that in which you could pour your mental energies?
2 Likes
I commend your brave action to come here and share! Takes courage to not face that alone. Great step. We are here for you. We want you to feel well. <3
1 Like
Hey there @Lillian25 it’s nice to meet you!
I’m slightly newer to this community, but I can confidently say we are all glad you came here. Everyone needs guidance sometimes, and this community is the most wonderful and supportive place to find it.
Firstly, you are loved and appreciated, and the fact that your battle scars are healing is a great accomplishment! I’m proud of you!! I used to self harm by cutting and it was a very difficult time, as I imagine you are having. I know it isn’t easy, but keep trying to hang in there - your mind and body don’t deserve the harm.
Many people (including myself) have a hard time during transitional periods, such as after graduation, starting a new job, moving in with new people, and more. These aren’t easy transitions, you’re not alone, and you are so awesome for going at it! It can be difficult to find your new routine, new things you like, new goals, hobbies, etc. I often miss being in school, because it gave me so many outlets and distractions from my emotional turmoil.
The best thing to do during these hard times is spend time with friends, stay in touch with family, and make sure you give yourself ample time to rest. Eat some of your favorite snacks and maybe visit some of your favorite local places, if you have a few. Binge watching a good comedy show can also be alleviating (Letterkenny is my favorite).
When you are ready and feeling up to it, it could be good to try and set up a regular routine that you are comfortable with and generally like, even if it’s totally different from before. I found that this really helped me when I started my new job last year. It also really helped when I started finding new hobbies that I like and setting new goals for my life. I never realized how little I thought about my long term goals until I finished school and didn’t know what the hell to do with myself (Lol).
My favorite thing to do when I’m strapped for goals (it’s gonna sound cheesey, bear with me) is to create a ‘vision board’ (aka collage) with pictures from magazines. One of my most recent ones included cutouts of new cars, nicer living spaces, locations I want to travel to, and even just words I want to apply to my life, such as “energy”, “stability”, “mindfulness”, “happy”, etc. I know that sounds silly as hell, but I’m telling you it gives me so much motivation to see those images in front of me, and be able to picture my future the way I want it.
I hope some of my suggestions are at least funny to read, and I hope you are smiling by the end of the day. I hope you are feeling better soon, and keep throwing those bad thoughts out. We’re all here for you, you are loved, and you matter 
3 Likes
No, nothing I have been trying and I feel as though I’m losing it more and more
Thank u, I really appreciate it
1 Like
Thank u very much, j really appreciate it for the suggestions I will be trying these out. This really made my day. Thank u
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed after 365 days. New replies are no longer allowed.