First off, I’d like to apologize for not responding to people’s comments when they comment on my postings, I’m not sure how to do that. As for what’s going on, my buddy died and had a little girl on the way, and I’m still in shock. I’m not sure the best way to handle my emotions are, and I also wear my heart on my sleeve so it’s easy to tell when somethings going on. I’m also going on for surgery for a partially torn meniscus and acl, and it’s my first major surgery. On top of all of that my brother whom I love dearly has told me things like if I don’t lose weight I don’t deserve surgery, and joins Facebook groups I’m in just to keep tabs on me and what I’m doing even though I’m 29 years old. Sometimes I think I should just end it so no one has to put up with me and babysit me as people seem to do but then I also think I should stay alive just so I can spite them and prove that they don’t need to. I just kinda feel lost right now.
It sounds like you have a lot going on. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Give yourself time to process and grieve over the loss of your friend. That has got to be so hard.
Your brother’s comments, and his keeping tabs on you, is hurtful.
But please don’t feel like these are reasons to give up on life. Things can get better.
Keep reaching out. You deserve to be supported and heard.
I am so sorry for your loss. You must be feeling very overwhelmed and hurt. I am also sorry for the hurtful things your brother has said. I’m sure that must have been devastating to hear, especially from someone you are so close with and love. Also, know that it’s ok if you don’t know how to respond to comments on your posts. We are here for you regardless and hope you know how loved you are. You are so dearly loved, valued and needed. We are so glad you are here. Know that I am thinking of you and hoping for a smooth surgery and a quick recovery. Keep fighting friend. We believe in and love you so very much.