Tbh my self harm thoughts are so high like I wanna get up and just do it but I know I shouldn’t but I need to but I know I don’t need to. I just want it to stop. I want a break. There is so much shit happening in my life and it’s so overwhelming. I just want a break. My friend is dying, some of my family does not support me at all. And my ptsd is coming back. I just want it to stop. I can’t do it anymore. But I have a kid and I can’t just leave him but my god. I think he would be better off with out me. He’s only 2 he won’t remember me. I just wanna do it. I want the pain to stop.
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Friend, I am so sorry you are hurting. Opening up and looking for help is a good step, thank you for sharing this here. You are not alone and there are people who care about you. Some days it is hard to see that there is positive stuff in the world and in your life, still it is there. Your son loves you, you are a good parent. You are a good friend and the world is better because you are in it. I care about you. Always remember that.
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do you have friends or family who you can go visit? Spend some times with, do something fun or meaningful with?
You’re doing a great job fighting the urges, you know that the relief will be temporary and it will not feel good for long, that it will feel worse afterwards.
Take a walk, do some meditation, rock out to some loud music, distract yourself.
You’re loved and you matter.
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From: I Am Reclaimer
Hey Friend, Life is really throwing you curve balls right now… but fret not… you’re not alone in this. I’ve experienced three of my closest friends dying and the tremendous mourning that comes along with that. The thing that helped me keep it together through their suffering, was to be there for them. There’s something about giving your energy out of love to be there and support someone that is close to you… It’s almost like the negative energy that goes to wanting to self harm is transformed into a healing energy for the person you care for. Reminice on the good memories and try to find and hold onto those fun moments you have had with your friend. Be there for them and it will make you feel a whole lot better.
With your child, I know it must be incredibly hard to deal with you friend and other family matters, but have you thought of what you can do to be the parent you always wish you had when you were younger? I always think of this and turn it inward to myself. While you have an actual child, I have a philosophy that I should treat myself like my own child… love, kindness, empathy, etc. Just like being there for your friend, being there for your child will make your heart feel good, and heal your sould. You got this, Friend. Stay strong… What happens when you believe in yourself?
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From: Aces MCL36M
Hallos! Dont self harm it’s not beneficial in the slightest doing it. Instead of using that energy to harm your self use it to help your child out: Learn them new things , Play with them. It sucks that your friend is dieing you have to keep positive and be determind that you’re friend will make it. Its not good if your visiting you’re friend when you’re sad, A good way to put a smile on them is bringing you’re kid. I’ve said this alot but its such a usefull suloution is meditaion it makes you feel alot more relaxed and it’s better on the mind. You’ve got this fren : D
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From: Ash
First off love your name on here. As someone who is also trans it is important that we all know that life as a trans individual is super hard so I feel you there. So somethings I am going to say are to support you in a means of help. Have you ever considered this idea of using that desire of wanting to harm yourself in a productive way. Like for example you mentioned your child what is something that you do with your son do you spend time playing or going for walks or to a park. Have you ever done something with him that can help combat those thoughts. I know another thing I have personally done is found something that is special to me and that person to carry and when I start to feel that desire I will hold or look at that item. I have a rock that is a link to my safety space. I am grateful for that safety space its a place that I may not be in but have and it reminds me that hey it is still there. I also know that perhaps carrying something that represents your son can help in that way. So consider that too. Feel that fight for him. As for the friend who is dying that is not fun and so tough but again that friend whom is dying would want you to live on for them. To bring the world the fact that the battle is never gone. Consider how they would feel if it was you being on that side and them watching would they want you gone no. So believe me when I say that your loss is a ripple to people. Its not even small too its larger than it looks because there are people you have meet that will learn of the loss and those you would have meet that now wont and who knows that impact you could and would have had on them.
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