Lifting everyone up, crumbling underneath

I’ve been an active member of this community for a while now and spend a lot of my time on here, replying to messages from friends and certain family members around me, and people in need on Discord so I’m writing this under an alias as I can feel myself falling and really just need advice. I already feel like I’m reaching out TOO much by posting this but here goes.
For as long as I can remember my life has been nothing but full off abuse from my family and anyone I interact with, self injury and suicidal ideation/attempts. The abuse in my family ranged from physical to psychological and to this day still goes on. Due to physical health problems and other circumstances, getting away from this and going out to therapy/counselling is not really an option for me at the moment, so when I found HeartSupport it was a gift from God. Reading stories from all of the beautiful people on here inspires me so much and I try to reach out to everyone when I can to try and be a light amoungst the darkness. I love being here to support everyone and I’m so proud to be a part of this community. I would say I get 4-5 messages per day on discord of people in situations trying to reach out whilst I’m scrolling through the support wall but I am starting to feel myself crumble under the pressure, fading out and just accepting the abuse being given to me by my family and friends. I’m not sure what to do as I hate turning away people in need… However now I finally realised I need to let this out.

Love you all.
-M

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Hey @Emm,

I’m proud of you for deciding to take a step back to breathe. Sometimes when you give and give, you’ll grow tired and weary. There’s a fine balance between giving and receiving; it sounds like it’s time for you to relax and receive. Could you please elaborate a little for me on why psychiatry/psychology and/or moving away isn’t an option for you? Growing up, my family situation was also pretty toxic, and one of the best things that I did to remedy the situation was to move away (to college) and become independent. By moving away and taking time to breathe and sort my thoughts, I slowly began to heal. You’re strong and you can get through this. We believe in you!

-Eric

Hey Emm,

I hope you can see how beautiful, important and meaningful you are as a person. I can’t imagine how many deeply you’ve helped people by being such a reliable listener and supporter.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your struggle. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and let people help you. Please keep sharing. Keep asking for help so you can continue to help others. Please know how much you are appreciated and feel confident in placing boundaries that give you space for yourself too.

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Hey Emm,

Thank you so much for reaching out, and being vulnerable with us. I know it’s not easy to do, and I’m really, really glad you did. I’m sorry you’ve been burdened by so much, and trying to carry the hurts of others, while also carrying your own. And thank you so much for caring for others- it honestly shows the amazing kind of person you are. But please don’t feel like you have to do it alone- we’re all here to support each other, and it’s okay to breathe and take a break too. I know there may be certain situations that require immediate attention, but there are other times where I think people will understand when you say you need some time to yourself to figure things out, or to talk to someone about what’s going on. It’s more than okay to ask for help, and I’m just learning this now, really, but it’s also okay to care for yourself. We love you and we’re here to help!

Hold fast,
With love,
Alex

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Hi Emm

biggest hugs. It is hard to be in an abusive situation. That is so draining and sucks the energy from us. Is it possible to maybe even in a teeny tiny way start working towards moving away from family and the abuse?

It is so easy to take on too much, to want to help everyone. I know this first hand. I am betting that you like to help others often at the expense of your own well being. Please remember it is a two way street and you need some of that love and support to flow back towards you.

Do not be afraid to say I am so sorry I love you I just cannot do this today. I am working myself on speaking up more when I am not coping or need downtime. This is a huge struggle for me as I am very much someone who wants to be there for and to help everyone. Mostly because I know what it is like to have no one in your corner and never ever want anyone else to feel so alone or like they do not have someone they can reach out to. However I also know if I do not look after myself I will be no good to anyone in the long term.

Please remember this and yes I know it is hard and you can feel like you are drowning under the weight of what life throws at you.

Please remember you are loved, you are valuable and you matter

biggest hugs

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