Living in the gray, mostly

I’ve read quite a bit about how it’s good to find a middle ground with your emotions. You can’t view everything as black and white, good or bad. I found that situations either made me incredibly happy or overwhelmingly sad. So I decided to make a conscious effort to try to stay somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. As a result, I don’t let things drag me down so far. However, I find it hard to take pleasure in things now. It’s hard to convey what I mean by that. By lowering my expectations I’m not nearly as disappointed when things don’t work out, but I also don’t get as excited about things because I don’t want to get my hopes up. Without sounding too cliche, “I’ve become so numb”. It’s a stupid problem to have and I feel it’s the result of overthinking my situation(s). Anyone else feel me? Any input would be appreciated.

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Hi, Friend

I can totally see see that. Lowering expectations and not getting your hopes up.

I’ve had to do this many times in my life because there had been too many moments where I had hoped that things would be better than what they were. Especially when involving trusting people, relationships, friendships and hoping that people would do what’s right. Or even common sense. In a lot of areas I too have had to learn not to set expectations or get my hopes up because in the end I got tired of feeling disappointed and hurt.

I try not to let it completely numb me out but I have certainly struggled. I’ve had moments of feeling pessimistic and untrusting of everything.

I over think a lot. In general I over think. Not always in an unhealthy or obsessive way. I’m just observant. Of people. Of things. How people are and how people think. I get stuck on wondering why a lot and try to break it down in my mind and understand it. Which, is frustrating because I am often completely unable to understand why people and things are as they are no matter how hard I try to make sense of it. And sometimes I can let that get to me emotionally.

Anyway, I’m glad that you reached out here and shared your mind. I don’t completely know your situation or what you are going through, but I hope that through your sharing I can gain a better understanding and we can continue to talk and share thoughts.

What you share is valued as are you. Welcome to the forums.

  • Kitty
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Hi friend! Thank you so much for sharing this here. It is NOT a stupid problem, and I have definitely felt the numbness that you are speaking of before. It can be really difficult to not really feel anything, it’s a strange and different kind of sadness.

I understand not wanting your emotions to be too intense, but maybe instead of trying to regulate all of your emotions you should try to focus on only regulating the negative ones by working on coping skills. Maybe that’s therapy or music or something creative.

You deserve to feel intense joy! Hope this helps! Hold fast!