Loneliness and future

i genuinely believe that i’ll never be with anybody. whenever i think about my future and who it might be with, i just imagine myself alone, in every aspect. no friends, no partner, just me. i’m horrible and picky with friendships so i doubt i’d be able to keep any and solely because of my looks, i feel like i’ll never be loved… i’ve never even been complimented seriously before… i’ve always been made fun of for my facial features instead. i feel so fucking hideous every day and i hate looking in the mirror because i’d rather imagine myself as somebody beautiful who everyone would like, but then i see myself and i just get disappointed. why did i have to be born to look like this? why did i have to look so fucking unlovable? i cant even show my face to strangers online that i’ll talk to for five seconds and never speak to again. that’s how self conscious i am. i will never be considered pretty, beautiful, or even averagely attractive. i’ll always be below and it sucks because i can’t change that. i just want somebody to fucking tell me otherwise but it’s never going to happen because it isn’t true. i hate when people lie about it too. people who have never seen me or only seen my eyes always say “oh you can’t/don’t look that bad” but how would you even know? i’m not going to show you, so i guess you wouldn’t be able to, but… idk i’m just… tired of having this face. i’m tired of living in general. not because i’m lonely, but because i can feel.

edit: relation the the never being loved thing. not even platonically for i believe that will happen. not only am i ugly on the outside, but the inside as well…


You aren’t unlovable. No one is.
I would like to comfort you and tell you that you are not Unloveable.
You seem to be a good person to me. I have seen your posts before. I am sure that you are not unloveable. I want to prove that to you. No one is unloveable. As soon as I saw the first post from you I’d ever seen, I knew you were definitely somebody. I am sorry for anything negative I had ever said to you in the past. I do not feel negatively towards you.
Also, people’s facial features are never actually “hideous.” That’s just how people choose to see you.
I’ve seen a kid whose face was actually Deformed one time, and there my sister stood there, looking at the kid with a smile, that was an actual real smile. And she, instead of making fun of that kid , or asking “what’s wrong with his face?” or anything like that like everybody else was doing, she honestly stated her opinion and said, “He’s cute.”
Even though I have never seen you and don’t know what you look like, there, to me, is no such thing as a hideous face.
Also, I can tell, because you show your personality on this website, that you are not dirty-minded…


If anybody would discontinue a friendship just because of physical appearance, they are truly a scumbag. I don’t care what you look like. I just want to help you.

I don’t know if I have the words to help you feel any better. I don’t know if I’m the right person to be responding. To be honest, I tend to be blunt, which people don’t always respond well to even though I generally have the best intentions. I’m also sure you won’t believe anything I say because you don’t seem as if you want to change your mind, even though you say you’re tired of feeling this way. I don’t know if I will even be able to make a response that makes any sense, but I’m gonna try anyway.

I feel like you looked into my soul and ripped all of the feelings out of me and stuck them in your post. I know how you feel, because of my experiences. I realize that my experiences are probably different than yours, but they’ve made me feel this way all the same. Or at least they made me feel what you’ve described in your post. I was bullied in school, from the day it started in kindergarten until the last day of my senior year and school was over. And to be honest, even for a few years after that, because I worked with some of the people I went to school with. Being bullied for so long is something that’s going to stick with me for the rest of my life, and I know I’m going to struggle with side effects from it for the rest of my life. Some of the things the kids said to me are stuck in my head, and some of the things they did to me make me not want to be near other people (people I don’t know and even a lot of the people I do know) for fear of it happening again. I also don’t show people pictures of me. No one needs to see me. I know I’m fat and ugly and I don’t need anyone to tell me that again. I can see what I look like. I have a mirror. I don’t trust anyone else to handle my food. I’m going to leave that part at that. I feel no need to explain that part any further. I’m in my 30’s. I’m never going to date or find someone who will love me for the rest of my life. I don’t believe there’s anyone out there who can love me in that way and even if there was, it would be devastating to find someone only to find out they changed their mind because of all of my emotional baggage.

Maybe you’ve had experiences like mine and that’s why you are so hard on yourself. Maybe you haven’t and it’s for completely different reasons. The thing is, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That’s not just something people say. It’s the truth. I know you don’t find yourself beautiful, but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t find you beautiful. Everyone has a different definition of beauty. Beauty isn’t just in what someone looks like. It’s in the things they do and the way they treat others.

You’re not giving most people the chance to see your true self, and so it’s no wonder you don’t believe anyone who tells you that you’re beautiful. It may be safer to keep people at a distance, but it’s a very lonely place to be. I know you’ve noticed this as you’ve mentioned it in your title and in your post. I also know that it’s much easier to say to give others the chance to get to know you better than it is to do. But that’s a lot of what life is about. It’s about taking chances on things that you aren’t sure about. It’s nice to stay in the same place if you like where you’re at, and a lot of times it’s ok to stay in the same place. But if you don’t like where you’re at, the only way to change and to grow is to take a chance on something different. Sometimes the outcome is positive, sometimes it’s negative. But you won’t know until you try. And if you find you get stuck and can’t try, then usually it’s a good idea to find a therapist who can help you move to the next step.

Also, it’s not really up to you to define what beauty is for other people, which is what you’re doing when you say someone is lying when they say you’re beautiful. How would you feel if someone told you that you had to hate something when you like it? How do you know that they aren’t seeing something in you that you don’t see? You can’t know when you aren’t really listening. You aren’t in their head to see what they’re thinking. Maybe they are only talking to you online, but that doesn’t mean they don’t see something in what you said to them. You’re not giving people a chance to prove to you that you’re worth their attention. I don’t understand why some people want to be around me, but they do. It’s weird to hear someone say they want to be near me or be my friend or whatever when I spent my childhood with people telling me they didn’t want me around. It’s something I struggle to accept. But… These people have their opinions. They’re entitled to them. And I just have to take whatever they say at face value, unless I find out something that negates that.

I hope one day you give someone a chance to show you that you’re worth seeing yourself in a different light. There’s so much more to you than what you look like, but you won’t be able to find out what it is with the mindset you have right now.


i am at a loss for words, but this is probably the best thing anybody has said to me before in terms of advice or support. so, i just wanted to say thank you and i wish you the very very best of luck with hopefully finding somebody yourself or becoming happy and content!! :smiley:


This message hit me in a very deep way. I experienced this very often in the past and it led me to basically becoming very isolated and I emotionally limited the way I interacted with everyone. It was a way for me to protect myself from the hurt and disappointed that I assumed everyone in my life feels about me because I was a monster. My entire life was existed in the shadow of of my belief that no one would love me.

Then on one particularly bad day my mind was spiraling out of control and focusing on really dark things. And in the storm of thoughts flying through my head I heard one that said, “F*** everybody else, I guess I am just going to love myself.” Something about that struck a chord with me and I began to imagine what loving myself looked like, and really invite you to imagine what loving yourself looks.

One thing I have learned through the years is that our whole perspective of the world is a mirror of how we feel about ourselves. If we hate ourselves then we will believe and see signs in every experience that backs up that belief. But if we can find something, big or small, that we love about ourselves then we open up a door for all of the beautiful things in life.

Trust me I know it is hard but finding a way to love yourself genuinely, as you are, it the key to every other wonderful aspect of our lives. I am sending you as much love as possible through these words and interwebs. We all end up with wounds in our souls we don’t need to deny them. We need to love and heal them, because if not we will build unhealthy relationships with the world around us. Please believe me when I say that now after doing the work of trying to love myself that my life is literally full the top with love in every area. And I know the same is going to be true for you.

Hey justbunnies, this is John, Director of the Houston chapter. We posted your topic on our support wall at a music festival, and this is what people had to say! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1maB4wthJxRh611LMP9zwOsVtXU67UZcl/view?usp=sharing


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