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Loneliness of my own making


#1

I have started reading Dwarf Planet and came hear due the suggestion on the Challenge page. To reach out to someone and share my reasons for depression. It started in 1994 with a major car accident and head trauma. Ever since I have battled feelings of emptiness, low energy or drive. I have been on depression medication and without it I would probably go insane. Through the years I have tried to find happiness in material things such as fast cars, boats, motorcycles, and other hobbies. After the new wears off, the expensive things would sit and collect dust until I sold them. I also developed bad habits such as drinking and affairs which ended my marriage of 28 years. 5 years later I remarried and was a very faithful husband. But I guess karma had to pay me back for my bad behavior and she surprised me with divorce papers after only 2 years of marriage. Until recently I had not connected my bad behaviors with my depression.

Now I am having major depression due to loneliness and regret. I don’t know how to move on with my life and stop regretting things I cant go back and change. I have never talked to anyone about my feelings because they are not fighting depression and I do not think they would understand. Sometimes I long for someone to tell my feelings to but there is no one. I am glad Dwarf Planet pointed me to this web site where there are people with the same feelings and I welcome your comments.

Thank you
rdub


#2

@rdub

Hello. Nice to meet you. I’m glad you found this website. Welcome. I hope you will continue to visit. Heh. Thank you for sharing. I struggle with depression, and I still fighting against it. I am not married, so I cannot relate to your divorce and past relationships. Regretting the poor decisions you made is not good. Your mind cannot stop thinking about it. It’s okay to have those regrets. You’re only human. You will become a better person because you learn from them. I encourage you to reach out for help, talk about your feelings to your loved ones. If you want to vent more, this forum is open. This community is here with you and for you. Thank you. God bless. Stay strong.


#3

Hi, thank you for sharing.

Welcome to the group friend. You may be having a hard time moving forward from what you did. It’s important that you understand what you did was wrong, but that does not make you a bad person. You are not what you’ve done. Your mistakes in the past do not define who you are or how you should act now. That’s why they’re called mistakes. I’ve never been married before, but I’ve certainly felt overcome with regret and loneliness and it’s not a good feeling. I hope dwarf planet continues to help you as it has also helped me, and I hope to continue to see you on the support wall; I’d love to hear more updates on how you’re doing.

Hang in there friend,
Jaden