I have started reading Dwarf Planet and came hear due the suggestion on the Challenge page. To reach out to someone and share my reasons for depression. It started in 1994 with a major car accident and head trauma. Ever since I have battled feelings of emptiness, low energy or drive. I have been on depression medication and without it I would probably go insane. Through the years I have tried to find happiness in material things such as fast cars, boats, motorcycles, and other hobbies. After the new wears off, the expensive things would sit and collect dust until I sold them. I also developed bad habits such as drinking and affairs which ended my marriage of 28 years. 5 years later I remarried and was a very faithful husband. But I guess karma had to pay me back for my bad behavior and she surprised me with divorce papers after only 2 years of marriage. Until recently I had not connected my bad behaviors with my depression.
Now I am having major depression due to loneliness and regret. I don’t know how to move on with my life and stop regretting things I cant go back and change. I have never talked to anyone about my feelings because they are not fighting depression and I do not think they would understand. Sometimes I long for someone to tell my feelings to but there is no one. I am glad Dwarf Planet pointed me to this web site where there are people with the same feelings and I welcome your comments.