Lonely…. And appreciate the support

First off, I wanna thank everyone that has reach out to me for past couple of days. It really means a lot to me and I really do appreciate a lot. I feel I haven’t help anyone else for awhile on here. But agin thank you all so much. ( sorry that say some trigger stuff, I’m not trying to hurt people.)

I feel after this friendship, I can’t never get close to a woman ever again. Each when it end, I feel broken, hurt , and anger. I no matter what I do for rides, but then food, be supportive and everything. Just they don’t ever value as friend. Im only a door mate to them sometime.

I still love my friend very much, but also just want to snap at her at same time. I want to believe that she did care about, that value me as a person. She said a bunch I appreciate you driving to see me. That I’m a good skateboarder. That she felt safe with me and had some value to her. Hoping she leaves not to hurt me, but not to take advantage of me. Or she does not have romantic feelings and she not want lead me on.

However, I still want the friendship so badly, that would kill myself. Part me what to message her, saying why did you abandon me or post Instagram saying how hurt I am with her, how she could hurt.

I don’t have a lot friends and live with my parents. 31 years old I never any sexual activity. The friends I do have I just don’t care then as much. I feel fuck up saying that, but we grow apart and I guilt worship this friend and discount the others.

I don’t think I can ever get over her. It suck she work at the indoor skate park I really like. Also go this event that use go to with other skaters, that can’t go to now. It just fuck whole social scene in general. I feel so lonely and broken, I just want to commit suicide to hurt her and just ruin her life.

Again, I’m not trying trigger people, I just feel so lonely and hurt it hard to deal with it.

3 Likes

You’re going through heartbreak. It can happen even though you weren’t dating. You really cared for your friend, and now she doesn’t want to see you anymore, and it feels like something got torn away from you. It feels like the part of you that cared will be broken forever. Part of you will always care for her. You’ll heal in time, and eventually you’ll find love with someone else, but she’ll always have a special place in your heart. Sometimes it’ll be nice, and sometimes it’ll hurt, but she’ll be there because she was important to you.

When you’re heartbroken, it’s normal to feel sad, to want to be friends, and to be really angry at the other person, sometimes all at once. Those feelings can take a long time to go away, sometimes months. It sucks. You’re not a bad person for feeling that way, and it’s good that you’re calling out those feelings here. Being aware of what’s going on will help you get a handle on it quicker.

Not having a lot of friends is tough. You learned to depend on this woman for friendship. Now that she’s gone, it feels like “Now what?” It’ll take time to learn how to socialize without her. Again, that’s normal, and it doesn’t make you bad or weak. The best thing I can suggest is maybe try calling up an old friend to go skating or get coffee, and just talk. I know whenever I got dumped, it just helped to have people around me to be there, even if we didn’t do anything interesting.

Above all, I just want to emphasize that you’re not a bad person for having your feelings. Everything you’re feeling is normal for a lost romance. I’m not trying to say it’s no big deal. It sucks, it hurts like crazy, and it feels like it will never get better, but trust me when I say that that’s the way heartbreak feels for everyone, and you’re not bad for feeling how you do. Actually I think you’re handling it better than people who go out to get drunk and hook up after a breakup. That just numbs the pain. To get over it, you have to feel it and process it. Those people are just delaying when they finally feel the pain.

Identifying your feelings can help. Whenever you’re having strong feelings of sadness, anger, or hopelessness, write them on paper or come post here. Writing them down makes them real and takes the burden off your shoulders.

It’s going to be okay. It doesn’t feel like it now, and it might take a long time, but one day it’ll be okay.

1 Like