Lonely and disappointed

My mental health has gone downhill, recently I have dropped off the face of the earth and for many good reasons because i have come to a realization that many people do not care. COV-ID 19 has made me realize how toxic relationships and connections can become when the people that are supposed to “love” you unconditionally decide there has to be a condition to “love you” and you have to bend over backwards and serve them for a response. The lack of response and compassion in certain church circles makes me want to puke. Now i realize why individuals chose to die instead of living cause 9/10 times it is easier and no one will miss you.


Hey there @blacklink13x , I’m sorry that you’re realizing how toxic some relationships can be, I know thats difficult. I think that if someone you love decides that their love for you is conditional, they weren’t meant to be in your life and you deserve better people around you anyways. Most of the time people do miss you when you die, even if you don’t think so. You have the people on this forum who care about you and who would miss you, I guarantee it.

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Hi blacklink13x,
People are people, regardless of where they spend their time. I understand your disappointment, however it is a powerful and difficult lesson to learn.
People who ‘practice’ a faith, are doing just that, practicing, and many are in ‘Church’ for reasons that have nothing to do with helping others, they are there for themselves.
The question then becomes, how you let these people, who you know are NOT behaving in a way that suggest… brotherly love, affect you and how YOU behave.
There are bad people in the world, and there are good people in the world, that is life. Choosing to be a good person is a choice too, being a force for good in the world is a choice many people make every day.
One could use the worst examples of humanity as a rationale for choosing death, but if the reason for death is because there are bad people, then shouldn’t one also look at the best of humanity as the ‘reason’ for choosing life. I think so, because we all have the opportunity to be the best we can be every day. We don’t get that with other people, we can’t make them behave as they should, but we can show them how it’s done, without judgement, and with love. We’re all deserving of love. Peace.

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You would be missed by more people than you realize. Are there people you would miss?

Many times, people who cannot love unconditionally came to be that way because they never received unconditional love.

You’re right! Many people don’t care. But some do. It’s to your credit that you understand the value of unconditional love. Many people are clueless about it.

If you “bend over backwards,” to make other people happy, it usually signals them to love you conditionally, as a way of taking advantage of your “approval seeking.”

I have felt suicidal many times, as a result of abuse, poverty, illness and loneliness. Fortunately, a little bit of hope became my lifeline. I have asked myself, “if I leave life today, I’ll never know what good thing might come tomorrow.” So, I stick around, and it’s given me an opportunity to help others feel better, which in turn helps me feel better.

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