It 4th of July night, and chilling at my parents house with no one to hang of with. I hate feeling fucking lonely, hate not being out with people, hate being a lonely virgin lol, and just hate not living life. Not having a lot of friends sucks. But I’m toxic person thet can’t have any friends and a loner.
I should be happy in some way, I finally might got into a good job with good benefits, my starting pay is least 20 to 28 dollars an hour. Thursday was good day where I say a friend that use to skate with. But out no where I snap at my mom. It was because I didn’t want to get a filing cabinet. In matter of seconds I had kick stuff, bang shit and exposed on my mom, out of nowhere.Then I punch my head lightly , not too hard. I felt I need to go ER cause I could take the intense emotions. There no reason for me to be abusive.
I don’t deserve friends, I’m very self center . Can’t help my own needs and don’t know to have healthy friends ship.
My teacher was right, I was meant to be alone, I hate myself.