i used to use this website a lot and i didnt for a while because things have been good, my mother has a drinking problem which she is aware of and for a while she didnt drink but she went to a bar today and shes drinking again. i cant really explain how i feel about it because im sad that shes going to be like this instead of how she is when shes sober but its like the feelings arent there yet, like theyre still loading in. i dont remember if i used this website back in september but i didnt talk to my mom for a month because she had started drinking again and stuff wasnt good until i spoke to her and found out she had a therapist and was getting help for it the best she could while we’re in a pandemic, and she was good until late december when she drank again once, then she was ok again but i guess this is one of those moments where she slipped up. ive lived with it before my whole life but i think it was different because i was a young child and didnt have the understanding that shes alcoholic or what was really happening at all, i just knew when she would drink she would be mean but i didnt try to stop her directly for a very long time. ive learned that the best thing for me and for her is if i just stop talking to her instead of saying a bunch of stuff. shes gotta stop on her own and words wont change that or speed up the process so im going to be staying away until shes ok again and then we’ll have a conversation about it. im not sure if tonights going to go horribly or not so horribly, the fighting hasnt started yet so i guess thats a good thing but i might be talking here a lot more if bad stuff does happen. i feel kind of bad because theres many good things i could be sharing on this website but instead i just use it to talk about my sad alcoholic mother and i apologize for that but i think this website reminds me of the bad times because ive never tried to use it to share my accomplishments before but theres many things i could talk about on this website, good and bad, and i think i will try to start soon depending on how stuff goes and how soon she stops. ok thats all for now, i hope whoever reads this is having a good day or at least a slightly better day (:
We’re here for you, either through the bad stuff or to cheer on the good stuff, whichever you need to share! No stress or pressure either way!/I’m glad things have been better for you in some ways.
I’m happy to hear that you have a strategy for dealing with tour mother, it sounds healthy for you to give her her space to work with her therapist and her own mind to tackle her addiction.
Hi graciee, welcome back to the forum
We’re glad that you decide to trust us with opening up about what you (and your mother) is going through. We respect you whether you post positive or negative things, we will love you eitherway
It’s good that you know what will work best and just follow that. You know what’s best and we’re here to support you. I wish you the best of luck with stopping your mother. Feel free to update us in the future
I am sorry you are going through this. I myself have experience with an alcoholic parent. You are doing the right thing by staying detached. I think you are being very reasonable and I am sorry you have had to learn how to do that. Support you mother but stay detached from her habbit. I hope the night went ok. There is nothing wrong with sharing your struggless you know. Positive things can be underated though. Try sharing your progress too. Many people could find it very inspiring.
Hi @graciee welcome back. I’m sorry you are dealing with your mother drinking again. I hope that it’s just a weak moment for her and she doesn’t do it again. It’s good to be prepared tho. Hope everything works out. ~Mystrose
Hello, graciee and welcome back to the community! I’m glad you feel the draw and safety of this place when you feel like you need some support about your mom but I’m sorry you have felt the need to come back for that reason. I hope your mom manages to find her strength to become sober again.
You are an incredibly strong person and I feel for you so strongly that you have had to deal with your mom’s illness for your whole life. But it sounds like you haven’t let it control your life and that is such an amazing accomplishment that you are your own person that has nothing to do with your mom. And I’m so glad that despite recognising that your mom’s relapse is hurting you you are able to recognise that there is still plenty of good happening in your life.
I look forward to reading more posts from you and I hope they become the good posts about yourself you mention and posts talking about how well your mom is doing recovering and becoming sober again rather than posts like this about the struggle you both are experiencing. But regardless of if the posts end up being support or progress or journal or whatever you post and wish to talk about I look forward to reading more updates from you and about your life. Stay strong, friend, you are an amazing person
From: Dr Hogarth
I am so pleased that you are able to use this place to share about your Mum. As someone who also had an alcoholic parent, I really do completely understand the anxiety you must be feeling right now; knowing who your Mum is going to turn into now that she’s drinking again. I think moving out for now is a good idea, as living with someone who is irrational is a uniquely destructive situation. I also think though that this cycle of pain has to find an end somehow. It’s not fair on you to have to keep finding yourself in this place of fear and apprehension and to know that another episode is just around the corner. It must be taking a massive toll on you. I hope that you can have that conversation with your Mum when she’s stopped drinking again and make a more long term strategy for her problem. It can’t go on like this, it’s not fair on you or your health.
I pray you have strength in this time. I truly hope your mother is able to get the help she needs and you can both have the healing and love you deserve. I am so proud of you and of how strong you are. You are such a wonderful soul, and keep hanging in there and hoping for the best. I hope the healing light fills your mother and gives her the power she needs to overcome this. Much love and light friend!
Hi Friend, Welcome back, it nice to see you here and please feel free to post here as and when ever you wish for whatever reason you want to, that is why we are here. It sounds like you have been through so much with your Mum and I cannot imagine how that has been for you and whilst reading your post i have had so many emotions and the strongest being that you are so well rehearsed in your actions on how to react to your mums behaviour that it saddens me as I feel like its something you have had to do so often. You also are so matter of fact about it all, is that because you have just resigned yourself to it all? I seem to be askng questions and I dont normally do that. I would however like to know what help you have had or are getting because as you say your mum can only help herself but I would love to know that you are getting the support that you need. Please stay around and post whenever you like. You sound like an amazing person and you have friends here. Much Love Lisa x
Hello, thanks for the support, currently im not getting any professional help, and its just my dad here that i can talk to. I think I do tend to talk about it very matter of factly because it is easier to just say the situation im in rather than how i feel. once again thank you for the kind words, it’s all very helpful. currently im still keeping my distance but im going to try to find her AA meetings she can attend, and maybe ill be able to go with her sometimes.
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